Judge — March 30, 1918 — page 22: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

ACTORS The Spotlight—* Now I sneak on as a burglar. The stage is dark. I must not be discovered.” “All right.” “Be sure to keep me in the spotlight.” Seattle Post-Intelligencer. Skillful Mimes—“ You very seldom see the ‘clinging vine’ type of woman nowadays,” said the old-fashioned man, sadly. occasionally figure in breach of promise suits,” said the worldly person. “TIndeed?’ “But I’m forced to conclude that cling- ing with them is an acquired art.”— Birmingham Age-Herald. Turners—Fred Stone, the comedian of “Jack o’ Lantern,” and Eugene Wood, whose stories and essays are well and pleasantly known, met on Broadway recently. They stopped for a moment to exchange a few cheerful views, when a woman in a particularly notic able wool conservation gown passed. Simultaneously, Wood turned to Stone; Stone turned to Wood; then both turned to rubber.—The Fifth Avenue Bus The Place for Him—First man- ager—Why did you advise t fellow to go into a stock company? He is no actor. Second manager—Can't t a bit more than a cow. That's one reason I told him to go into a stock company.- Brooklyn Citizen. The Asiago Colossus It Boches—Tartai} Italo—T'azecano da bene. The Boche—A thousand devils!| Here I've been hacking away for two r hardly s impression. granite.—/l g20 (Florence). sono due mesi che picchio, Cho appena intaccato. Hauff? ad intendere che ero di pasta frolla, eh? In: ce son di granito ¢ duro ths and yet I hought you'd find it pretty soft, didn't you? And then you discovered I was TY Rare Scholarship “Si je m'y connais en belles choses? Tu parles, mon petit. J°ai pas toujours é1é purée, moi, jai eu du foin dans mes bottes.” alors? Vous avez tout mange?” “Go ‘way from our ash can, you tramp!” “Tramp! My lad, Pll have you know I’m a man of learning. I’m gathering material for a treatise on the History of Fashions.”"— Le Pile-Mile (Paris). IRISHISMS | How It Happened—An_ Irishman, employed in a large factory, had taken a day off without permission, and seemed likely to lose his job in consequence. When asked by his foreman the next day why he had not turned up the day before he replied: “T was so ill, sir, that I could not come to work to save my life.”, “ How was it then, Pat, that I saw you pass the factory on your bicycle during the morning?” asked the foreman. Pat was slightly taken aback, then regaining his presence of mind, replied: Sure, sir, that must have been when I going for the doctor.”—Chicago His Specialty—A young Irishman re- cently applied for a job as life-saver at the municipal baths. As he was about six feet six inches tall and well built, the chief life-saver gave him an application blank to fill out. “By the way,” said the chief life-saver, “can you swim?’ “No,” replied the applicant, “but I wade like blazes!" —Philadelphia Ledger. What Pat Would Do—Pat and Mike were obliged to halt their cart and make way fora funeral procession. While look- ing at it Pat suddenly remarked: “I'd give $500 to know the place where lam going to die.”” “Well, and what good would it do you if you did know?” “Lots,” said Pat; “sure, I'd never go near the place.” —Argonaut, comicbooks, com