Judge, 1918-03-23 · page 6 of 32
Judge — March 23, 1918 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Picking 'em Out"** (top): A humorous poem about a woman choosing a single postage stamp from hundreds. The joke satirizes indecisiveness—she spends excessive time selecting one identical item from many identical options. The accompanying illustration shows her at a post office counter with a clerk. The satire mocks the deliberative shopping habits of certain consumers, particularly women. **"The Diagnoses of a Doctor of Philosophy"** (left): A philosophical poem listing life observations in a mockingly pompous style, presenting commonplace truths as profound wisdom. **Bottom cartoon**: Depicts a couple discussing household bills. The husband questions why bills come from multiple stores; the wife responds it makes individual bills appear smaller—satirizing domestic financial dishonesty or self-deception about spending habits.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drawn by Wautex De Manis exemption? divorced wife going to sue for alimony? The Diagnoses of a Doctor of Philosophy By Bexjamixn De Casseres OVE is the music of the blood. L A woman’s memories are the Plutarch of many a Mere Man. Carry a smile in the side-pocket of your lips. The triangle was invented by Eu- clid, tested by Don Juan and brought to perfection by the scenario writers. Jealousy is a barking watchdog that warns thieves where treasures are. Delicacy—the lover who wouldn’t phone to his sweetheart because he wasn’t shaved. Women and children cry for the moon, but man goes ahead and har- nesses the sun. Inevitables By C. M. Gitsore W -ATHER comments. Unsolicited advice. Somniferous sermons. Poverty-stricken kinfolks. Gossiping neighbors. Lost umbrellas. Postscript in a lady’s letter. Stale jokes. Old maids. Bachelors. Slackers. Exeartion Orricer—On what ground do you claim Conscrirt—Well, Cap, if I go to the front who is my Picking ’em Out By Strick ann GiLuiLan HE WENT to buy a postage stamp. The clerk put S out a sheet Containing hundreds of the things, all pink and white and neat. She looked them over quite a while, then, reaching toward the center With her lorgnette, she said: “That one.” None other would content her. Picking ’em out! She stood before a turning-stile at entrance to a store, And let the empty spots go ’round a dozen times or more. At last she saw a stall in which she thought she’d feel at ease, And sauntered through it to the street, as calmly as you please. Picking ’em out! She went where bargains great were shown. A thousand hankies lay Each like to each as e’er you saw two neighboring stalks of hay. She handled every one of them a score of times, and then Selected one just like the rest—this always-shopping hen. Picking ’em out! I met her husband, recently—he surely was a shock. He looked the final remnant of a badly-damaged stock. And as I sized the fellow up, I murmured low: “Great Scott! Here is conclusive evidence that sometimes she was not Picking ’em out!” Drawn by Barxspare Rocers Hussy (Home on leave)—I don’t see why you have bills in so many different stores. Wirey—Why dearie, it makes the bills so much smaller.