Judge, 1918-03-16 · page 29 of 38
Judge — March 16, 1918 — page 29: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page is primarily **advertisements and filler humor** with several short joke items typical of Judge's satirical style. The main cartoons mock marriage and marital authority: "The Safest Way" satirizes wives' limited political power (voting "sparingly"), while the magistrate panel jabs at domestic violence as an acceptable honeymoon disruption—dark comedy reflecting historical attitudes toward spousal abuse. "Finding Things" by A. W. Lirsch offers cynical observational humor: a character lists ironies he finds—slow streetcars when rushing, expensive living, the war's monotony—concluding everyone merely pretends knowledge. It's pessimistic wartime commentary. "Those Suburbanville Trains" jokes about suburban train schedules' unreliability (a 9:30pm visitor can't catch a 6 o'clock train). Other brief gags target doctors' war-tax profiteering and the statistical odds against having triplets. The heavy advertising—Armored Tank watches, Munson Army shoes, synthetic gems—reflects 1918 wartime commerce.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
thriller ampire er ex Du ppy- hoax. On, as ites an came larris. als of glad elasco Ids. 2rsion pular empt stom. mova 2 y t JUDGE March 16, 1918 ‘Si Daal bar covere Radio to prnaet Relag targe to enemy at ight Prolabed Giack,(goveramest feyeirement). Putent Seid by dealers generally, ov sept post ‘paid direct £0 you on rect Armored Tank slone. ‘see, dost aed damp. Pass tor tesell to ing or birthday gift at great saving. y for our great, Bf pate iatrotes The Safest Way “What is the best way to use my vote, darling,” asked the young wife. “Sparingly, my dear,” replied her husband. Mactstrate—You have assaulted your wife in a most cowardly manner. Do you know of any reason why I should not send you to prison? Accusep—If you do, your honor, it will break up our honeymoon! WHITE Vatvev GEMS Look and Wear Like Diamonds Brilliancy guaranteed 25 years. Will cut glass. Stand acid and fire tests pp and scratch a file. Any style 14-K solid gold fing, pin or stud, (regular diamond mount- {90 seat for Free Examination. No Money in Advance. Weta eeey tae for 31 periet Re ind free catalog. GEM CO, Mig. Jewel 23 Wasi a Bios indi WANTED—AN IDEA! WHO CAN THINK OF SOME . indiana simple thing to patent? | Protect your ideas, they may bring Fou Wealth. Write for “Needed Inventions” and “How to pct_,Your Patent and Your Money.” Randolph & Co. Patent Attorneys, Dept. 129, Washington, D. C. Finding Things By A.W. s OW,” he was asked, “do you find H everything?” “Well,” elucidated McFee, “in a variety of ways. For example, the weather chilly but to my liking; the street cars always slow when I am waiting for one or am anxious to get somewhere in a hurry; my cheese by shoving my pie fac downward; my wife sometimes pleasant; my children many and dirty; my work troublesome; the cost of living the same as every one else’s; the war monotonous; the future bright; humanity of two classes, the doers and the have been dones—just to cite a few things. “And I thank you for the compliment. I didn’t know you knew I knew about everything; still, from the frequency of the question applied to me, I think all men think I think about everything.” Those Suburbanville Trains Mrs. Caller—I suppose I ought to be leaving now. Mrs. Athome (looking at clock)—Half- past nine. If you hurry, my dear, you can catch the six o’clock train. An Important Point “How much for an operation, doctor?” “Five hundred dollars.” “Does that include the war tax? Triplets “Well, doctor, boy, or girl?” “Three girls. “The odds seem to be against me.” “The mission of this paper is to preach the gospel of cheerfulness” Copyright, 1918, by LestieJudge Company Entered at the Post-otfice at New York as second-class mail matter. Cable address “Jodgark.” Telephone 6632 Madison Square, Published weekly by LeslieJudge Comp Brunswick Building, 226 Fifth Avenue, N Washington Representative uilding, Washington, D. C. Reuben P. Sleiche on, Literary Lawion Mack SUBSCRIPTION RA One year, 5? numbers- = - + +--+ 2+ “85.00 Six months, or 26 numbers = + 72-02 2.50 Thirteen weeks- --- ~~ > - ii tiss pal able in advance or by draft oa New "York, of by express or ‘order. Petbe contents of JUDGE are protected by copyright in both the United States, and Great Britain. If JUDGE cannot be found at any newsstand, the publishers will be under obligations if that fact be promptly reported oa Preset year, 10 cents per copyy 19 10 cents; 1916, 20 cents, et Postage free in the United States, its dependencies, and Mex- ico, Mo Canadian Provinces ad! 30 cents a year for postage; to 31.00 0 yea N NG OFFICE, Marquette’ Baling + Chicago, Hlinois NEW ENGLAND AbvE RTISING OFFICE Tremont Building - + Boston, Mass, Jags is printed by the Sebweialer Press. Adopted by the ‘Army of Industry” From Private to General no U. S, Army man is permitted to wear in service any other shoe than The Munson Last ‘Thousands of civilians buy the shoe from us or from our dealers and obtain foot comfort al- most beyond belief. Wear Herman's Munson yourself and forget you have feet. ks rite for coe the name ts a Herman dealer near you. Or you can buy M 8, Hack or Tan, from ws by mail—ot and aatista, wack pn cuarenteed., size and width ua Catalog of All Styles Free Jos. M. Herman Shoe Co., Army Contractors 1016 Albany Bidg., Boston, Mass. State Passed by the Censor By S. E. MET her in the Bois Boulogne— To be precise, ‘somewhere in France Her elbow almost touched my own, And I was gladdened by her glance. One look, and then we went our ways “Somewhere in France,” her loveliness To haunt me through the coming days ‘And give me courage, more or less. Kiser A great ship on a certain sea Sailed westward from a certain isle, And on the deck, one morning, She Returned my greeting with a smile! While we were passing Sandy Hook, And in the Narrows, near the fort, T held her hand and, later, took Her bag at “‘an Atlantic port.” We hastened from a certain dock Up through a certain city where There is a certain lofty block— Fifth Avenue meets Broadway there; And, later, when I dared to plead With eager longing in my glance She said that she was glad, indeed, That we had met “somewhere in France.” Could Have Crossed the Atlantic Lady (to tramp)—You say that you were formerly an army aviator. Did they make you take long flights? Tramp—Madam, I was once sent up for thirty days. In the center of everything. fortable rooms. Only hotel havi Special luncheons. $2.00 per day and up. NEW HOTEL BINGHAM, Philadelphia Large. well lighted and com- Hot and cold running water in every room. direct Su connection with all. rail- ferries. Roof garden. (Club breakfast. Rooms without bath. $1.50; with bath, FRANK KIMBLE, Manager. stations an