Judge, 1918-03-16 · page 27 of 38
Judge — March 16, 1918 — page 27: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes young women's contradictory behavior and speech. The column by Eleanor Burwell Boykin presents statements women make ("What They Say") alongside their actual meanings ("Which Translated, Means"). The satire exposes the gap between women's claims and reality: a woman says she could never marry someone she likes, then reveals she's waiting for a proposal; she claims to dislike talking but admits she talks constantly; she says she can't dance due to injury while actually fishing for sympathy. The humor targets female vanity, manipulation, and inauthenticity—portraying women as calculating, self-interested, and dishonest in social interactions. This reflects 1918 gender attitudes viewing women's speech and motives with suspicion. The remainder of the page consists primarily of advertisements (W.L. Douglas shoes, cigars, patent medicines), typical for Judge magazine. The "Stellar Slacker" poem at bottom appears unrelated to the main feature.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
h 16, 1918 The Adorable Creatures! By Exveaxor Burwe.t Boykin I think any woman can get married whenever she wants to, as far as getting married is concerned. Of course I like Jack awfully well but I don’t think I could ever marry him. I haven’t had more than five hours’ sleep any night for two weeks. I know it’s perfectly awful the way I talk all the time, but—I just can’t help it. (Letter from Mountain Resort) The scenery here is beautiful, hills, and valleys and all that sort of thing. But, my dear, you always have good- looking clothes. (Girl) Isn’t it grand to be living? I’m in love with the world, I don’t think I can dance much tonight because I turned my ankle this afternoon and it is still sore. The girls at school used to call me Puck because I was always carrying on some foolishness. I am going down town very carly this morning as I think you have so much better service then. Well, I rather like Paradise feathers but I think they look worse than anything when they’re the least bit wet or draggy. Wi Translated, Means: I wish you to understand that I have had proposals, and it is not for lack of them that I’m not married. I shan’t marry Jack until he asks me. I am enjoying a siege of popularity. You know that it’s considered an ac- complishment to be able to carry on a | conversation with anybody, but I wonder if you have noticed that it is one which I possess. Not a man on the place. Tcan say nice things even if I don’t like you. A man loves me and I adore it. In case I find myself neglected at the dance, it will be understood. I was considered very witty at school. Iam going to a bargain sale and Iknow everything will be gone if I don’t get carly, I couldn’t possibly afford a Paradise. L. DOUGLAS “THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE” $3 35084 $450 $5 $6 $7 & = W. L. Douglas name and the <* retail price is stamped on the bottom of every pair of shoes¢/| before they leave the factory. | The value is guaranteed and the wearer protected against || high prices for inferior shoes. | ou_can save money by wear- ing W. L. Douglas shoes. The best known shoes in the world. The quality of W. L. Douglas product is | guaranteed by more than 40 years ex- perience in making fine shoes. The smart, styles are the leaders in the fashion centres of America. They are made in a well- equipped factory at Brockton, Mass., by the highest paid, skilled shoemakers, under the direction and supervision of experienced men, all working with an honest deter- mation) tomake the best shoes for the price that money can buy. prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always ‘s worth the price paid for them. TON — Nefore you buy be sure W, Z, Douglas name and the retail prices mped on the bottom ‘oad the ine side top facing, ‘This is your only protection against Righ prices for nfertorshace, BEWARE OF FRAUD. Sold by over 9000ahoe dealers and 105 W.L-Douslas stores. If not conven: ienttocallat WL Douglasstore,askyour local dealer‘: them. Take make. Write for booklet, showing jershoe: small il, posta free. W. L. DOUGLAS SHOE. Co. 145 Spark St., Brockton, Muss, py right,W L Douglas Shoe Co Y Quick Relief for Husky, Hoarse, Tickling Throats 25c at all Drug Stores. Sample for two-cent stamp Frederick Stearns & Company, Detroit, U.S. A. Makers of NIP-A-CO lanative cold tablets “MADE AT au GARS A Stellar Slacker By McLaxpuurcn Witson WINKLE, twinkle, little star, What a slacker scamp you are! Up above this world so bright— Don't you know ’tis lightless night? Adapted to the Job A MAN who had partaken too freely of cocktails finally reached a barber- shop. He sat down heavily in the chair. As his head drooped forward, he mumbled to the barber: “Shave.” “But, sir,” remonstrated the barber, “T can’t shave you unless you hold up your head!” “All right,” the customer answered languidly, “hair-cut.” Natural Patient—Doctor, why does a small cav- ity seem so large to the tongue? Dentist—Just the natural tendency of the tongue to exaggerate, I suppose.