Judge — March 16, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Shadowed by J. K. Bryans “Tell you what, old man, this sugar shortage is getting serious.” “Doesn't affect me. I’ve got 120 pounds of it at home.” “Great Scott, man! How did you manage to get it?” “Oh, [ married it.” i Straight Tips By P. Axpersox NE thing worse than a quitter is a chap who is O afraid to begin. As to the question of internment—some folks think that an “r” substituted for an “n fill the bill. Political economy very often is the buying of most votes for the least money. A “pretty piece of baggage” “pretty” checks. In turning the head of woman, flattery and peroxide run a dead heat. It Helps a Lot: ” would better generally requires “Uncle Walt’s” Exclusio are prone to say the sun has gone to kingdom O' these be times when men look glum, and they Where’er come, and all the skies. are gray. you go you meet the gent who has a grouch on file; he’s ready with a loud lament, but can’t produce a smile. He says he'll bet his‘Sunday boots the war will never cease; we'll never whip the husky Teuts, or see the dawn of peace. He says a lot of dismal things, as he goes oozing past; and every dreary word he springs is bluer than the last. Then tell him he is off his base, and full of musty prunes; and let a smile pervade your face, and sing some cheer- up tunes. It helps a lot at times to show that there’s one scout in town who will not let his soul by woe be crushed and beaten down. We have some heavy loads to pack in these grim, seething times; and oft it galls a voter’s back to get his share of dimes. And when he gathers up a few, like lightning streaks they’re gone; he has to buy his wife a shoe, himself a “It helps a lot to laugh such guys out of their gloomy mood” Incoherence or What? “Young Gabber made quite a long speech at the club forum last night.” “What was he talking about?” “He didn’t say.” Honest confession may be good for the soul, but it is bad for the reputation. A chaperon is about the only one who gets much credit for neglecting her business. Careful Hospitality A GENTLEMAN presented his open cigar-case to his neighbor on the right, who thanked him, saying he did not smoke. His neighbor on the left also refused, with the same reply. The smoker was putting his cigar- case away, when his wife whispered to him: “John, you have forgotten Mr. Jones over there.” “Oh, no!” was the reply, “he smokes!” by Walt Mason Weekly Message to Judge demijohn. He groans and grumbles as he sweats, with pens, with saws or spades; the girls must have their cigarettes, the boys their hand grenades. So when you meet him on the street, he says that life’s a frost; he says a tomb would be a treat, regardless of its cost. You meet a lot of weary boys who chant this sort of tune; they raise a sad, heartbroken noise, whenever they commune. And sadness isn’t just the stuff wise men would deem correct; a little fragment is enough a county to infect. It helps a lot to laugh such guys out of their gloomy mood, and show them how good sports arise when felled by buffets rude. If gloom’s contagious, as I say, and all the sages hold, it helps a lot if you are gay, and jubilant and bold. For glad- ness is contagious, too, and spreads like itch or mumps, and shoots a ray of sun- shine through the lads with doleful dumps. comicbooks.com