Judge, 1918-03-09 · page 8 of 36
Judge — March 9, 1918 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is a humorous domestic fiction piece, not political satire. The story depicts Mr. Binks and his wife Aurora discussing a secretive errand early in the morning. His wife gives him a small bag and warns him not to "get pinched" (arrested). He then heads to a park—described as a refuge for "nature's noblemen" who "never did any work." The satire appears to target lazy, unemployed men who loaf in parks rather than work. The title's reference to a "bribe" likely suggests Binks is attempting some form of minor corruption or improper conduct. The illustration shows a soldier or military figure with a woman in period dress, possibly referencing a separate anecdote about "Rube Simpkins" leaving farm work. The humor lies in the conspiratorial tone between spouses regarding clearly questionable activity treated as mundane domestic routine.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Drazen by Wauter De Maxis Sxapsuor Taken tn France or Ruse Simpxixs, Wao Lert tHe Farm Because He Dipy’r Like tue Work Mr. Binks’s Bribe By Arruur S the onyx clock on the Binks mantel chimed softly nine times, Mr. Binks sighed and laid down the morning paper. He took out his watch. It read 8.45. He glanced over to where his wife was worriedly knitting. ‘Do you think I had better go now, my dear?” he asked haltingly. “Why, yes, Boniface,” she returned, “now is a good time.” “Remember, I don’t want to get pinched,” he protested. “Of course not,” his wife agreed. “But I do not think you will be apprehended, especially if you hurry.” She set aside the grotesque object she was knitting and left the room, returning soon with a small satcl “And remember, dear,” she said in encouragement, is absolutely necessary.” 7 C. Brooks “You are right, Aurora, it is the only way.” Gain- ing new determination with the words, he reared up from his chair. He donned coat and hat, placing the latter on his head. Picking up the small bag, he went from the room and passed down the stairs, thought- lessly overlooking the last step. The resultant disturb- ance necessitated a readjustment of his hat. He kissed her on the door-step, then turned and walked methodically down the street, one leg after the other. His immediate destination was ‘a foolish little park, in the summer months a secluded retreat for nature’s noblemen—noblemen in the sense that they never did any work. As he entered the park a squirrel chased him ner- Coming to the stately elm around which vette is said to have pursued Dolly Madison, a soft, whistled note caused him to turn abruptly, comichooks,