Judge — March 9, 1918 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

FUNNY THINGS IN A SOLDIER’S LIFE An honorarium of $5 will be sent by Juvce to any nember of Uncle Sam's fighting forces on land or sca tohose contribution to this department is selected by the Editor as the funniest camp or ship story of the week. Ayres Buh eres S| Fire! The remarkable coolness of the soldier in an emergency is best shown when a tent blazes up. In the sketch shown above the gentle- man in the lower right hand corner of the picture is calling the occupants’ attention to the fact that their abode fire, while the others are coping in a masterful manner with the situation.—Wadsworth Gas Attack. A Good Soup “That’s what I call a good soup,” remarked the lieutenant, putting down his cup. “Thank you, sir,” replied the mess sergeant, “but we have been serving it as coffee.”— Trench and Camp. Rash Private Butternut — What's name? Private Hickory—Vesuvius! Private Butternut—Why? Because he is so fiery? Pritate Hickory —> covered with eruptions. —Wadsworth Gas Attack your hors aw —because he is Giddap, Vesuvius. Accepted original jokes are paid for at the rate of one dollar cach. Send in your humor, boys. The Heathen Chinee is Peculiar I walked into a Chinese laundry. It seemed to be the easiest way of getting in. He stood behind a little cage, evidently a protection inst violence. He was scratching both elbows at the same time. I summoned up my best Chinese. “Very dirty washee. How longee takee. Two weekee?” He stopped scratching long enough to stare at me. “I will endeavor to have it for you then, sir, but you know that the shortage of colored labor hampers our efficiency considerably. Whereupon he handed me the cover of a package of firecrackers and I left the shop.— Wadsworth Gas Attack. The Prize Nut The Corporat—What happened to you, Bill? Bill—Aw! I tried to take up a collection for the cook!—Wadsworth Gas Attack. “Perfectly Killing’ The Libertyville Home Guards in Waukegan, Ill, were giving their first exhibition drill. Mrs. John Kingman, a farmer's wife, was ap- proaching in a buggy drawn by an ancient horse. The horse took one look at the forma- tions and dropped dead.—Trench and Camp. When the Day is Done T have eaten a bale Of spinach and kale, And I've never raised a row, T have swallowed a can Of moistened bran And I feel like a brindle cow. Tam taking a snack From the old haystack In the evening shadows gray. And I'm glad, you bet, At last to get To the end of a meatless day. Tears Hush, little Gin Mill; Don’t you ery, You'll be a drug store By and by.—Sheridan Reveille, Let an Old Town Canoe carry you where the big fish lurk and where game is plentiful. |For casting and trolling, an Old Town is un- equalled. An Old Town offers health, sport and beauties of the great outdoors—an invitation no red-blooded sportsman can re- fuse. Send today for, catalog which shows latest models. OLD TOWN CANOE CO. Magazine Cover Warriors Some day one of these artists who draw covers for the popular magazines is going to see a real soldier. The meeting will be a distinct shock to the artist. Your magazine-cover sol- dier would have a tough time of it in the 27th Division. He apparently salutes by slapping « himself on the nose with a careless flip of his hand. Or else he makes a gesture that is a combination of the British salute, the secret wig-wag of the Royal Order of the Stuffed Duck, and the motion a man makes when he is trying to roll big Dick from Boston. And his uniform! We have the cover of a well-known magazine before us. The soldier on it is trying to dig his thumb in his eye while giving what the artist believes to be a salute, and he is wearing—(a) leather puttees; (b) khaki pants of remarkable cut; (c) a side arm strapped apparently to his knee; (d) a blue sport shirt, open at the throat, and a blue cart- ridge belt supported by what appear to be blue gallusses; (ec) a hat set at a rakish angle; (f) a hat cord which is yellow with red tassels, indi- cating, presumably, that he is in the cavalry on week-days and the artillery on Sundays. é& Of course, we don’t believe Art should be Mis trammeled by the army regulations. But if fron artists are going to paint soldiers, why not cast if an optic at some of the 27th Division Apollos. by | Then they’d know how soldiers really look.— the R. E. C. in Wadsworth Gas Attack. Pul T . for A Spring Beverage | «. that you will keenly appreciate and enjoy Sno \\ oft RWIOWA 0 Con sho 4 shes i this van NON-INTOXICATING sau has witl cort NO OVERNMENT of LICENSE REQUIRED Good as a tonic or day and night beverage Swe Up-to-Date Grocers, Druggists and Dealers. fit C. H. EVANS & SONS. Estab. 1786 HUDSON, N.Y. She HENRY LINDENMEYR & SONS rece PAPER WAREHOUSE Ey Nos. 32. 34.and 36 Bleecker Sirect : Branch Warehouses : . 30 Beekman Street. New York, and 42 Clinton Street. Newark, N.J« juv ALL KINDS OF PAPER MADE TO ORDER comicbooks.com XUM