Judge, 1918-03-09 · page 14 of 36
Judge — March 9, 1918 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**"Some Difference!"** satirizes dating customs and parental authority. A young couple embrace when interrupted by her father's footsteps. The man cleverly pivots to dancing (to a victrola/record player) instead of "hugging," framing it as innocent entertainment. The father, satisfied the couple is merely dancing, withdraws. The joke: dancing together was socially acceptable where embracing wasn't—a thin distinction that exposed the absurdity of rigid Victorian-era courtship rules enforcing declarations of intent. **"Thoughts on Heat"** is humorous social commentary about heating systems in American homes. The author mocks the scientific definition of heat while cataloging the frustrating reality: radiators, grates, and pipes rarely produce actual warmth. The piece concludes with dry wit about friction and an uncooperative janitor, resonating with readers struggling through cold winters dependent on inadequate building heating. **Bottom cartoon** depicts military life's absurdity: a recruit questions who has to wake the bugler—if bugles signal wake-up, who wakes the bugler?
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Some Difference! By Ganretr Exsorn Fort “ I: SORRY, Harold,” sighed the maiden, reluct- antly disengaging herself from the embrace of the ardent young man and turning up the light as she heard her father’s step in the hall; “but Father seill insist upon young men declaring their intentions before permitting them to hug me.”” The ardent young man knit his brow and bit his lip in chagrin. Nearer and nearer sounded the parental footsteps. Suddenly a flash of divine inspiration, like rushing dawn! Springing to his feet, the ardent young man sped to the victrola and slapped on a twelve-inch fox-trot. Then, as the melody unwound, he turned and stretched forth his arms. “Come!” he whispered thrillingly. “You think of such wonderful things!”” murmured she, as they clasped each other in an embrace which made the other look like thirty cents. Her father thrust his head discreetly between the curtains, saw them enjoying their simple pleasure, and softly withdrew to read his editorials and stock reports “Ethel makes a charming hostess,” he thought. Thoughts on Heat By Lisue Bet EAT is defined by scientists as “‘a form of energy.” What they really meant was “merely a form of energy.” There are four kinds of heat known to man—that which doesn’t come from radiators, that which doesn’t come from grates, that which doesn’t come from pipes, and that which doesn’t come from anywhere else. Coal is said to produce heat, but no one seems able to produce the coal. Water freezes at 32 degrees Fahrenheit. Pipes freeze at random. The only way to get heat from a radiator is to park your heels against its corrugated sides, and stand every- body else off with a shotgun. The only way to get heat from a furnace is to stoke it with one hand, and sit on it with the other. Damp poor heat—don’t say that too quickly—may be secured by locking yourself in the bathroom, and letting the hot water fill the tub. ‘Textbooks assert that heat may be secured by fric- tion. It’s a lie. We have been having friction with the janitor for a month, but no heat. “LT Can't Get "Em Ue” Rookte (as reveille sounds)—Say, Ed! “What? “Who's the poor dub that has t’ wake th’ bugler?