Judge, 1918-02-23 · page 5 of 36
Judge — February 23, 1918 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine (February 23, 1918) contains a short story titled "A Catch Somewhere" by Nathanax Eisenlord, illustrated by Albert Hencke. The narrative follows Captain Joe, an old sea-dog whose house catches fire. As neighbors and officials respond, they discuss insurance claims and property loss. The small illustration shows a dog, likely representing the story's subtitle reference to "an old sea-dog whose bark was worse than his bite"—a pun playing on the nautical term "sea-dog" (sailor) with an actual dog. The story itself appears to be humorous fiction rather than political satire. It's primarily entertainment content for the magazine's readers, with the dog illustration serving as a visual gag related to the captain's character.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Volume 74 81 Number 1897 “THE HAPPY MEDIUM” $5.00 a Year New York, Fesruary 23, 1918 i Published Weekly A Catch Somewhere The Story of an Old Sea-Dog Whose Bark Was Worse than His Bite By Natuanx Fis LORD Illustrations by Avpert HENCKE APTAIN JOE awoke suddenly in through his open window. “Somebody's house is on fire,” he said as his touched the floor. “By Pharaoh’s daughter, mine! They robbed me of my steamboat and now they’ve set fire to my house.” By this time he had reached the window and looked out. Flames were bursting from the small kitchen below. In a mo- ment they would reach the main part of the house. Hast gathering such articles of clothing as were in reach, Captain Joe rushed downstairs and out of the front door. The neighbor- hood had been aroused and people were coming from all direc- tions. “Tough luck, Captain,” said one, as the flames broke through the roof of the main building. “Tough luck!” repeated Captain Joe. ‘There ain’t any luck about it. It’s the same fellers that stole my boat. Didn't get everything I had, so they’ re burning my house over my head. If there was any law in this country, Vd put ’em where they wouldn’t steal steamboats or burn houses.” * “But you have insurance, haven't you, Captain?” as‘ed a neighbor. “Insurance? Sure it was insured; but what good will that do me? Them insurance fellers never'll pay me anything. They’re allin cahoots.” And the Captain angrily regarded the engines which were making a futile attempt to get the fire under control. “What company is it in?” persisted the neighbor. “This Maine company that’s all the time bragging about its honesty. But they'll never pay me accent. Like as not sue me for damages. Might as well deed the lot over to them right now. They'll probably git it afore they'redone.” The building was small and dry as tinder. By the time the firemen h tream playing on it, the roof fel] in, sending up a shower of sparks. “Oh, well, it’s gone. Reckon I might as well be looking around for something to eat.” Smoke was pouring And the ptain turned and walked down the street. The building was completely destroyed. Nothing remained but the small kitchen stove with one length of pipe standing; and here, a short time later, King, the secretary of the insurance company, found the Captain frying a few pieces of sausage. “Cleaned you out completely, ch?” said the official, as he surveyed the scene. “Yep. All gone,” grumbled the Captain. “ And now I sup- pose you've come after the lot. ’Spect you'll do as them fellers did that run into my boat. Said it was my fault, and between them and my lawyer I lost my steamboat.” “On the contrary, Captain, we'll make good your loss in cash, or build you a new house better than the one you have lost.” And the official smiled as he watched the Captain’s countenance. “I don’t want airy cash. Somebody'll sure steal it.” “Not if you put the money in a bank, Captain.” “Put my money ina bank? Not me. Bankers arc the big- gest robbers out o’ jail. The bank would bust the next day after I put it in.” “Very well; then let us build you a new house. You see, we aim to treat all our patrons fairly—even liberally. It means much to us in securing new busines id King. “So you ‘re going to use me to advertise your company; is that it “Not exactly, Captain. It’s just good busin Then when the house is finis want a lien on it, I suppose?” “No liens or strings of any kind; we just turn the building over to you when completed, free and clear,” was the answer. The Captain scratched his head doubtfully. “T don’t know what to say. ’Pears to me there’s a catch somewhere. Here comes my nephew, Bob,” as a young man approached them. ‘We'll see what he says. “Well, Uncle, this looks pretty bad,” said Bob, looking around. shed you'll