Judge — February 9, 1918 — page 28: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

HOT at Sunrise—Reeruit—I want to enlist. in this mortar battery I’ve heard about. Recruiting sergeant—And why do you want to join that? Recruit—Well, you see, I'm a mason by trade and I thought maybe my previous experience wou'd help me. “Do you believe in long engagements?” “Indeed, I do, my dear, it gives one so much less time to be married.” The Periscope—He who hesitates is no self-starter, When a man is polite to his wife it docs not necessarily follow that he is afraid of her he may be only absentminded. The roads around Princeton are certainly not all they are cracked up to be. Some hide their lights under a bushel; others get well-lighted under a quart. Hoover has at last made us understand why spies are always shot at sunrise. It is to save breakfast. “Does she dress well?” “T dunno; I never watched her.” Would a substitute on the Marines’ foot- ball team be a sub-marine? E Recognized Her— “You don’t —know me, do you, Bobby?” asked a who had recently been baptized. “Sure I do,” piped the youth. “You're the lady what went in swimming with the preacher, last Sunday.” Friend—Some pup you Where do you keep him? Sophomore Bill—In my room, of course. Friend—But it ain’t healthy to keep a dog in your room. Sophomore Bill—Well, he’s a strong dog and seems to stand it pretty well. lady have there. Man in passing car—Have an accident, old fellow? Man under car (grimly)—No, thank you, just had one. “Johnnie, do you always look in the mir- ror after you wash your face?” “No mum; I just look at the towel.” He—You wouldn't let me kiss you the last time, I’m only collecting the interest. She—Oh, but ten per cent is all that the law allows in Nebraska. The doctor felt the patient’s sore appendix and pushed rather hard. The patient be- came very angry from pain and shouted: “Cut that out.” The doctor did. An Old Fashioned Circular Starecase (iarvard University | Pots Fo It Boys—A sign in the win- dow of a Massachusetts Avenue dairy lunch near Technology proudly states to the passing world, “Ladies Served Here.” If not too pertinent, may we ask, “Stewed, pickled or how?” “See here Annie, do you ever sweep under this bed?” “Yes, mum, always. than using a dustpan.” It’s much easier “ITD an we 100 —"—— > The munitions maker (popular version)— Well, it’s a hell of a war; but it’s better than no war at all. Out of the Mouth of Babes I've got a sister all grown up, Who only thinks about A certain.day this winter—it’s The time she’s comin’ out. But my ole Pa thinks different, He says what's gettin’ him Is when she’s out at night—Great Guns! What time’s she comin’ in. ly Bilton—Pa, will you please tell me y story? Bilton—A fairy story? how will we begin it? Mrs. Bilton (sweetly)—Begin it, ‘I was detained at the office, dear,’ then continue. Well, let’s see, comicbooks.com