Judge, 1918-01-26 · page 8 of 28
Judge — January 26, 1918 — page 8: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains satirical commentary on early 20th-century American culture. **"The Tired Theatre-Goer"** mocks predictable Broadway casting by suggesting famous actors of the era (John Drew, Maude Adams, Al Jolson) perform wildly inappropriate roles—a star comedian as Hamlet, a dancer as tragic Juliet. The satire targets both formulaic theatre and typecasting. **"At a British Base"** is a WWI-era joke: an American officer compliments a British soldier on his health, assuming wartime hardship; the soldier credits good nursing care from female medical personnel ("a loidy"). The remaining items are brief social humor: a chatty wife who hears gossip anyway; automobile ownership replacing horseshoes as status symbols; college boys quitting smoking to impress mothers; and a wealthy man's "economy" of keeping his appendix (avoiding surgery costs). **"Ballade of Mesozoic Sport"** nostalgically compares prehistoric dinosaur hunting to modern fishing—implying modern recreation is tame compared to ancestral adventure. Overall, the page satirizes theatre conventions, wartime observations, and class pretensions.
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Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Tired Theatre-Goer H, I have taken in the shows For many years, but now The same old actors in the same Old stunts scem stale, I vow! Indeed, I wish John Drew would try To doa tri part; Maude Adams as a siren bold Should exercise her art! Cute Billie Burke should settle down And play a grown-up réle; A Winter Garden Mrs, Fiske Would be exceeding droll! If Faversham should sing and dance I'm sure 'twould be a go; And Mrs. Castle ought to try \ melodrama show! I'd like to see Al Jolson as The melancholy Dane; And Eva Tanguay’s Juliet Would truly entertain! —Harold Seton Evened Up Mrs. Talkalot says she only half she hears Dolly—Yes, but she hears twice as much as anybody else. Evidence to the Contrary She—Pshaw, the world is just itious as ever. dozen horseshoes. Don't how to make love in the right way? way that interests girls. you don’t see one auto tire over the door where you used to see a Briggs—I wonder if I shall ever learn Griggs—Don't! It’s only the wrong AT A BRITISH BASE American medical officer—Well, my man, you're getting on! _ Tommy—Thankee, sir, W'o could ‘elp it wiv a loidy to ‘andle me vittles? One Economy “Brown is horribly extravagant.” “Oh, I don’t know. He still has his appendix.” Encouraging Mother First college boy- No cigarette? Second college bo} Mother and T are swearing off. Ballade of Mesozoic Sport ENVY much that ancestor Of, well, say Mesozoic date, Who chased the sprightly dinosaur (Some eighty feet in length, they state) And, with one blow upon the pate, Secured sufficient food to last ‘n months at least, or eight. The days of sport are past! An archeopteryx might soar An arrow split his armor plate; Nine feet across the wings or more (Geologists corroborate From bones in Solenhofen slate) Our birds today are quite outclassed. Produce the hespernoris’ mate! Mas! The days of sport are past! Or, in those blissful days of yore, \ geosaur might take the bait \ derrick brought him to the shore (They averaged a ton in weight). And yet of tarpon sportsmen prate! Why, as a pole a schooner’s mast, They used to think, was tempting fate! Mas! The days of sport are past! Envoy Ah, Nimrod! those, I predicate, Were times for the enthusiast! And, ah, what tales he could relate! Alas! The days of sport are past! Louis B. Capron Exclusive Fweddy—Miss High-brow there is hor- ribly dis Cholly? Cholly—Veh- ment, so to speak. ant toa fellow, don’t you think, lives in solitary refine- weddy. Poverty is a telescope through which y look at the dead stars of success.