Judge, 1918-01-12 · page 11 of 28
Judge — January 12, 1918 — page 11: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page satirizes WWI-era American attitudes through three humor pieces: **"A Cheering Thought"** (by Kenneth L. Roberts): An absurdist essay comparing the first slide-trombone player's struggles to modern problems. The joke suggests that if someone could master the impossibly difficult trombone, any problem becomes solvable through persistence—a morale-boosting message for wartime readers facing difficulties. **"The Bright Side"**: A brief joke about J. Fuller Gloom, whose notorious meanness paradoxically *helps* his rheumatism—no one bothers offering him remedies because they dislike him. Dark humor about finding silver linings. **"Egg View Note"** (by Leslie Van Every): An anecdote about "Tink Nitz" nearly hit by a car while distracted by a vaudeville performer on New Year's Day in Pollywog. Below, a child sighs for pre-war days when he'd receive nickels—nostalgia for simpler, more prosperous times before WWI's economic disruptions. Overall, the page uses humor to address wartime hardship and economic strain while maintaining morale through jokes about persistence and finding unexpected benefits in misfortune.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE SERIOUS A CHEERING THOUGHT HOSE who encounter situations which appear hopeless should consider the dark outlook which confronted the first slide-trombone player, and take heart. The difficulties which this musical genius had to overcome were tremendous. He not only had to master the intricacies of the slide, but he had to worry a noise out of the instrument as well. When he had succeeded in doing both things at the same time without knocking several teeth down his throat, he had to combine the two operations in such a way as to evolve music. The task of dis- covering perpetual motion looks far simpler, at hasty glance, than that of solving the mysteries of a slide trombone. None the less, the first slide trombonist solved the problem without assistance, and was soon able to render an early version of “There'll Be a Hot Time In the Old Town” without hitting more than eleven sour notes. In view of this fact, everyone should remember that no problem is so obscure or mystifying but what a sufficient amount of careful study will make it as clear as French vichy. —Kenneth L. Roberts. The Bright Side “Ah, Mr. How is your rheumatism coming on?” “Exceptionally Gloom! well, thank you!” replied J. Fuller Gloom. You see, I am so notorious for my mean disposition that very few people ven- ture to offer me cures for it.” SIDE OF WAR EGG VIEW NOTE INK NITZ, who spent New Year’s Day in Pollywog, narrowly escaped getting knocked down and run over by a big automobile, shortly after supper. While crossing a street he got his eyes on a vaudeville show girl, and absent- mindedly walked right in front of the machine, which standing still at the time. —Leslie Van Every. « What are you sighing for, Bobbie ?” “1 was just thinkin’ of the good old days before the war when ye used t’ gimme a nickel once in a while.”