Judge — December 22, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

and went home, without a tie in a packet, and not having seen my office all day. Shopping is no task for a man, he hasn’t the strength for it; it is a work for woman. I said to the missis: “I tried to buy a tie to-day, but didn’t see a thing that was worth while.” “You made a mistake,” she said. “ You thought you bought your ties. You forgot that I always do. I'll get this one for you.” She slipped off her apron and disappeared for fifteen minutes. Then she came to me and laid a package in my hand. “There,” she said. It held a necktie. It was a perfectly fine necktie. And she had bought it in half a dozen jif ‘That’s why you find me in this cigar store at this late hour. I ran away from her when she told me that men ought to be in an office all day. That they belonged there. And that shopping should be done by women. What brand do you smoke? Take two, one for to-morrow. And—doe: your wife do your shopping? Merry Christmas A Preacher's Christmas HERE is a bright side, even to the war, ith all the havoc and the pain it causes; The ladies, bless them, are contending for The chance to make themselves all Santa Clauses. With busy hands they're knitting for our boys, I see them daily making socks and sweaters; For Belgian children they have gathered toys To Belgian soldiers they are writing letters. How good it is to see their earnestness To know their bit is being done so finely, ‘Though war is hateful, hard and pitiless It brings out woman's better self divinely Because they are so busy, every dear, Iam inclined sometimes to flap my flippers. For I shall not be overwhelmed this year With forty-seven pairs of Christmas slippers S. EB. Kiser. Conscientious Scruples Draft official—On what ground do you claim exemption from military service? Rastus, Esy.—Dis wah am bein’ fit to mek de worl’ safe fo demockasy, am it not? Draft oficial—Yes; sure. Rastus, Esq.—Wal, Ise a ‘publican. “So you wish to offer your services to'the Government. “I am an undertaker, sir, and when the Government wants the Hohenzollerns buried I shall be glad to officiate free of charge.” Clarice’s Fear Clarice—Sniff, sniff! Ch—Ch—Charlie has France. Florence—Don't worry, dear. You know, a soldicr has but one chance e hundred of losing his life in the trenches Clarice I know that, boo, hoo! But it's those French girls. They say they are pretty, the minxes! gone to Her Message HE stands beneath the mistletoe alone And from her fingertips a kiss is blown ‘To one “somewhere in France”—that he may: know Her memory thrills to last year’s mistletoe. His Message E stands beneath the flag “somewhere in France” Where bayonets in Christmas sunlight dance, And homeward wafts a kiss, and bids it go Straight to a lass beneath the mistletoe. In what capacity?” comicbooks.com