Judge — December 1, 1917 — page 20: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Ohio Stave University ABSURD and Over- heard—It_ had rained all afternoon and the streets were crowded. The street car came along, stopped and as the people piled on the fellow and the pretty. girl followed them. They reached the plat- form. “Do you think we can squeeze in here, he asked. hy, Dick, of course not! till we get home.” Wait Discreet Youth — Dorothy — And you've never loved any girl before me? Roger—Of course not. Never before anybody. “And a Chary Old Soul Was He’’—“What’s all the cheering at. the depot, President Wilson coming in?” “No; King Coal.” Speaking of Loans — Guinevere Does your husband ever leave you alone? Mag—No, but I go through his pockets at night. “Do you recall the buzzard who knew just two questions to try on you, namely, “How’s every little thing?’ and ‘How's the world treating you?’ “Rest happy. [got him.” “The Frinchmen are sure wan grand polite race.” “And did No, but I slammed wan on the jaw and he gave me his calling card and said he would sind two men to wait on me.” wan of thim lend yiz a To University of Michigan HE Town Fool—“ Ladies and gen- tlemen,” shouted the longhaired one. “We are here to protest against the constantly increasing cost of living. Since the war everything has gone up. I defy anyone to name a single thing that has gone down since the war began.” “How about these here ships that have been torpedoed?” asked the town fool from the back of the hall. Hiram—‘No parking?” Well, I reckon. not! There ain’t a tree or bench in sight anywhere! Do They Reach The Ground?— Timkins, anxious to be exempted, was before the draft board. “Ts there any reason why you should be excused from military service?” he vas asked. “All right physically, are don’t legs—they aren’t-——” One of them shorter than the other?" questioned the physician. “No, worse than that,” blurted out Timkins. “They're both shorter.” know—my As You Were, Men!—“But, Madge,” queried a cluster of wide-eyed girls, “weren't you dreadfully frightened when that soldier tried to put his arms around you? What in the world did you do?” “Oh, that was easy. I just yelled “Attention!” and he was perfectly help- less.” Uniform—* Gosh! Look at the British army officer.” “Amy officer nothin; bitall’s new chauffeur.” “Oh!” That's Grab- a | University of California UALIFIER — Eloise —1 you said she was pretty. Abelarde—I said she was as pretty as she could be. thought High tenor behind the counter—These shirt cuffs are very much in vogue, sir. T alway: them myself. Basso before ditto—Glad you warned me. Give me some with a stiff cuff, please. What is more pleasing to the eye at the beach than a perfect stranger? Wug—Funny thing about Annette; beautiful clothes but no style. Rough—There's where she differs from the others, who have beautiful style but no clothes. “The women of the Fiji Islands don’t wear any clothes,” remarked the globe trotter. “Gracious! timed the Mere Man. “I wonder what they find to talk about.” “What line did you say you were in?” “T manufacture a face powder that can’t be ki = “Who has the charge of your proving grounds?” “What on earth are you doing?” “Oh, putting away my summer furs and getting out my winter laces. 7 \~ f2; “f\- a I: lit my gills, you're looking happy s fine, wet day?” “Why shouldn’t I be? Mrs.Cod presented me with 4,526,943 children this morning.” The girl (rather weary at 11:30 p.m.) —I don’t know a thing about baseball Let me explain it to you. The girl—Very well, give’ me an illus tration of a home run comicbooks,com