Judge, 1917-12-01 · page 13 of 36
Judge — December 1, 1917 — page 13: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This humorous story-poem by Arthur Chapman satirizes the clash between Eastern cultural refinement and Western ranch life. A dance instructor from the East arrives at a cattle ranch to teach "classic" (ballet) dancing to 38 young women. The cowboys—hardened ranch hands named characters like "Bear Hawkins," "Old Pete," and "Cattle Sal"—are bewildered and distracted by the graceful dancers in white robes performing on the pasture. The cattle go unbranded, work halts, and cowboys spend hours watching instead of working. Eventually, Bear Hawkins must ask the dancers to leave, warning that their presence threatens the cattle industry itself ("the price of beef will rise"). The satire mocks both Eastern cultural pretension transplanted to unsuitable terrain and Western ignorance of refined art, presenting them as fundamentally incompatible. The concluding lines suggest the dancers leave a lasting impression despite their departure.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
CACTUS CENTER CHAPMAN CLASSIC DANCING IN By ARTHUR We've been far, we're frank in sayin’ from the headquarters of a Our work has kept us humpin’, roundin’ up the festive steer; We admit that things esthetic find us bringin’ up the rear; All of which has some small bearin’ on a thing that's knocked us cold— ‘That has set the cowboys talkin’ when the cigarettes is rolled And has proved to be the reason why the Two-Bar boss has swore ‘That this Terpsichory goddess gits his O K nevermore D* HERE in Cactus Center we have lived a life apart; It started when a lady wrote Bear Hawkins from the East That she'd like to rent a pasture, if he had one to be leased. She said she wished to use it for her classic dancin’ school, And Bear wrote back: “ Dear madam, I am sure a locoed fool But I fail to see why pastures beat the school-house dancin’ floor, Which, of course, it ain’t my worry, as it’s grass you’re payin’ for; So you'll find the pasture ready, right behind the main corral, And I speak up for some lessons for my old friend, Cattle Sal.” Well, Bear's eyes stuck out like door-knobs when the dancin’ school arrove And jest thirty-eight young women to the cattle ranch he drove; They was headed by a woman with a most determined jaw— ‘The kind who, in all comp'ny, constitoots herself the law And she said: “Now, Mister Hawkins, we have come here to the West To create some classic dances that will give our art new zest, For among these wild surroundings it will be no trick to find Some stunts to make Pavlowa fade from out the public mind.” When Old Pete went out, next sunrise, for to rope his pinto hoss, He thought he saw ghosts dancin’, and he called upon the boss; And the boss, thcugh he'd becn sober for a week, or maybe more, Thought he must be scein’ visicns like he'd never seen before, "Cause those dancers were disportin’, all in robes of dazzlin’ white, And Old Pete says: “Eoss, I'm quittin’—you kin pay me off to- night, As it’s me for Cactus Center, lest I feel disposed to prance And to tramp down good alfalfa in this sort of classic dance.” Well, there wasn’t much work doin’ in the roundup gang for days; There was cows that went unbranded, and good steers was lost as strays; The cowboys sat for hours on the top rail of the fence And watched the classic dancers, as they flitted here and whence, ‘Till Bear Hawkins said: “Dear madam, you must sure detour your freigh While we like your classic dancin’, we must hand it to you straight That you've got our punchers locoed, and the case is just this size: You must quit this cattle country, or the price of beef will rise. Though the leader was offended, Hawkins took his stand quite firm, And the dancers started Eastward, cuttin’ short their wild West term; But they've left a deep impression, and the boys don’t give two hoots In reels and clogs, and such things, to agitate their boots; And when the school-house dances are given, now and then, You can hear the whispered comments 'mong a lot of wall-flower men, And you know that they are talkin’ of the palpitatin’ days When we got our introduction to the classic dancin’ craze,