Judge — November 24, 1917 — page 18: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

(Harvard University) GAME Thing, Only Different—Bil- ton—Have you any close friends who have mone Tilton—All_ my friends who have money are close. The Ton, Not the Coal—Bilton— Send a ton of coal to my house. Dealer—V Ww Bilton (meaningly)—2 2,000 " pounds, please. A Woman's Way—Mrs. Bilton— Weren't you surpri dear, when your husband gave yor ch a nice present? Mrs. Tilton—No; 1 was suspicious. “A man has just telegraphed me that he has married my daughter.” “Ts he a good, practical man?” “T guess he is. He wired me Collect.” “See here, Annie, don’t you ever sweep under this bed?” “T always do, mum. It’s so much easier than using a dustpan.” Distinguette—Those impossible Boches hurled a 42 centimeter projectile into my vegetable garden. Morceauyette—Mon Dieu! they shell your peas? And did (Williams College) OME Out of the Kitchen—He was a fritter and she was a pan cake. Side by side they sat on the range and their love waxed hot with an ardent intensity. “Darling,” he murmured, “how tragic that we twain like hairs should part.” She softly laid her floury cheek upon his in an impassioned em- brace. Outside the ice man wore a red sweater and the nightingale called in the distance. By Their Necks Ye Shall Know Them Manager—Hey there! Run up that curtain, will y Stage hand—Say! I'm hired as a stage hand, not a squirrel. On the Austrian Front—The ambu- lance driver—Do you know what is the Italian national air? The reserve lieutenant (sniffing)— Garlic, I believe. The Morning After—Wifey- Here, dear, is a new book on “Wild Animals I Have Met.” Hubby (feelingly)—Why recall un- pleasant incidents, my darling? so the Doctor sent him away to in the suburbs?” “Yep, sort of a commuted sentence.” e signal class hasn’t ell Tately has it?” Williams Hall Stuff—Doris— Why did Harry raise a moustache before he proposed to Betty? Yeonne—Oh, he wanted to keep a stiff upper lip if she turned him down. A Trifle Raw—Record heeler— Is the Captain a modest guy? The blank file—Well, he dresses his company right in the middle of the street— (Leland Stanford U OR Maybe a Dent—ist—“Do you think women are fitted for the med- ical profession?” “ My wife ought to makea wonderfulos- teopath. Shecertainly can rubit intome.” Too True, Clarence—* Did you ever come home on the milk train?” “If 1 did, I don’t remember it.” He'd Had Experience—Professor— You say Scuttlesworth is making a suc- cess, even after his wild career at college? Professional—Yes, he’s president of a wrecking company. A Bright Future—Frosh—I expect to have a very glowing future. Senior—Ves, especially after you die. Military Service—Contempt—Man, man! Who blacked your eye, and broke your nose, and put your arm in a sling? Exempt (sufferingly)—I married one of these war brides. Cap—Look what the wind blew in. Loot—Er—beg pardon, sir, but that was the draft. At the Somme—Foreign Legion Jim —Harry is getting exclusive as the devil lately. F. L. Billy—You mean he doesn’t want to associate with you? F. L, Jim—Not that, but he refuses to shoot anyone but Prussian officers. Can’t You Harem?—'2:—What was making all that noise in the shower last night? ’20—Jones was using his crash towels. Do comicbooks.com