Judge, 1917-11-03 · page 9 of 28
Judge — November 3, 1917 — page 9: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page combines humor about WWI-era American life with social commentary. The main "Sandwiches" article is a humorous essay mocking both the poor quality of railroad food and ethnic stereotypes—specifically German immigrants ("Heinie") selling sandwiches on trains while singing gibberish. The piece satirizes commercial food vendors as offering inedible products. The "Our New Army" cartoon at bottom criticizes military inefficiency: a Colonel reprimands a soldier for a missing button, but learns the soldier (a Jewish tailor's assistant named Cohen) cannot sew because his union prohibits it—absurdly preventing him from performing basic duties. The closing verses mock the Hohenzollerns (Germany's ruling family) for directing WWI from safety while soldiers die, a common American criticism of distant leadership during the Great War. The header question—"Have you been a patriot or a slacker this summer?"—reflects 1917-18 patriotic pressure on civilians.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
a , SANDWICHES HESE are said to have got their name from the Earl of Sandwich They didn’t quit getting names there, though. They have got some awful names by their purchasers. For purely legal reasons these names are omitted here. Sandwiches are divided into two general classes: Railroad and edible Edible sandwiches are divided into han, chicken, tongue. club, caviar, beef (hot and cold), lettuce. cheese, pimento, egg. oyster, olive, tripe and Denver. The Denver sandwich is so-called made the first ones that because they were really good in Boone. lowa. It is made of an egg thoroughly beaten and then fried, a tiny bit of minced onion being commingled with the egg before frying. When a thin slice of sour or dill pickle is added, bliss is rampant Railroad sandwiches are divided differently from. the edible kinds. Sometimes one must use a cold chisel or a jimmy with which to divide one of them. [also divided one, once, with an enemy The sandwich made of a split bun with something between halves is as Have you been a patriot or a slacker this summer ? ast-train sandwich whereas my train that she had sold me stayed there a half an hour. She begged my pardon, gave me a fresh one, re-catalogued the one she had first sold me, and said “It was certainly swell of you to bring that back instead of it into an irrigation ditch, for the boss is comin’ Monday and he would have missed it and maybe canned m Some of the vendors of sandwiches have peculiar names for them. ‘There is a fat-faced Heinie who carri basket of them pressed against his alimentary canal — and walks through the trains at | Harrisburg singing “Sy CHIZZ! sy al\ CHIZZ— hame—tungen—cheekn! ~—S Oppuls, bnaynays, arnches!” After he says this, you look in his basket and know what he Said © There is a sandwich vendor at Portsmouth, N. H. (blessed are the peacemakers), who calls — them “Samches.”” Commercial sandwiches do not 22) appease hunger. They merely teach your stomach w a mistake it is to ask for something to eat away from home. Strickland Gillilan, In a Nutshell “What's the difference between a drama and a melodrama r if} 4 | su : s : toothsome as a bath-sponge / ] ob tl Well, in a drama the heroine One time at Ogden, Utah, I went {) r {|| merely throws the villain over. In toa sandwichery near the station and i R-___!] a melodrama she throws him over asked for a fricd-egg sandwich. The OUR NEW ARMY a cliff.” girl reached up to a shelf and got one I started back to the train with it, opening it as I went. There were whiskers of mold, half an inch long. on the I took the sandwi back, life? were you in civ Colonel (to member of corporal’s guard) —This won't do—there’s a button off your blouse. “What Private Cohen—Tailor’s assistant. “Then you've no excuse, my man!" ‘ h “Can't sew on buttons, sir. Union wouldn't Exclusi urtcously explained to the girl allow it. I'm buttonholer.” Their Acuteness HE. Hohenzollerns, after all, Are most acute and foxy They bravely fight, and bleed and di y by proxy Tennyson J. Daft comicbooks.com