Judge, 1917-09-29 · page 5 of 28
Judge — September 29, 1917 — page 5: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
The top illustration shows an early automobile with five men in period dress (likely 1920s-era) stopped at a crossroads. One man stands outside the vehicle asking about interesting roads, while another responds that the "Bone Dry Law has closed 'em up." This is satire about Prohibition (the "Bone Dry Law"): popular roadside destinations—likely speakeasies and bars—have been shut down by alcohol prohibition enforcement, making leisure driving less appealing. Below are humorous definitions of international figures and concepts as "ages of you-don't-really-love-me" and "A Little War Gazetteer," using whimsical names like "The Kaiser," "The Marne," and "Potsdam" to satirize post-WWI European politics and geography in a tongue-in-cheek manner.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“Which of these roads has the most points of interest?" ‘* This one used t’have, but this here Bone Dry Law has closed ‘em up.” SEVEN AGES OF YOU-DON’T-REALLY-LOVE-ME ? A LITTLE WAR GAZETEER T 7 she says it to make Grandpa take her to the movics. jorree ~A democratic Sphinx that answered the riddle At 10 she says it to make Clarence buy her a bigger of a world. solitaire than Harold bought her dearest friend. N. Romanorr—The man who carried his Siberia with At 22 she says it because Clarence still permits her to live him in an apartment less pretentious than the one the Harolds have. Tur Crown Prince—The Marceline of Armageddon. At 25 she says it because Clarence lets her wear herself out Verpux—The crimson end of a German rainbow. with the drudgery of managing Vow Trrpitz—The Homer of the shark. Tue Marxe—The end of Von Kluck’s joy ride to Paris. Tur Katser—The Rodin of slaughter. Lesperc—A Mecca at which no one arrived. Porspast — Home barnyard of the royal cagles. Kerensky — A Russian Auas. THe MEDITERRANEAN — An aquarium for submarin ENGLAND—A deep-sea bull- their more pretentious apart- ment with only two maids. (They, eat all their meals elsewhere, of course.) At 27 she says it because he hasn’t given her a car. (Oh, she has a flivver, to be sure, but—) From 30 to 45 she says it to justify herself in her own mind for flirting with other men. And after that the probabili- ties are she says it because it is the truth—though it seems to her a tragic injustice that it should be. -Lee Shippey. dog. FRAN ‘The fourth dimen- Couldn't Say The Blonde—My husband always says | am his first sion of physical endurance. Dyer—How’s your wife? , ca ge the same, my dear, from what I Tue Unirep States — The Hyup—Can't say. Haven't have heard he seems to consider that second thoughts answer to a universal puzzle. read the society news latel: are best. —Benjamin De Casseres.