Judge — September 22, 1917 — page 21: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

1 on you ready en om field: fact that ed work d them. is no case 1 favor of the fixed Y of this esources of econ DUS sort ind irate lame ot stracted because ya ever leader, she was iw, and | he men eir ages of the 1g that women > bettle : » is of oman's ays of 1 per n who s and stence 1g for of the eekly living o ip one were other cored "September 22, 1917 Shear Steal The Joke Recoiled—Riggs (facctiously) —This is a picture of my wife's first husband. Diggs—Silly-looking guy! But say, I didn’t know your wife was married before she met you. Riggs—Ske wasn’t. This is a picture of myself when I was twenty-five.— Boston Transcript. In the Heat—Colonel Roosevelt told at the Plattsburg Training Camp: a hot-weather gory. “Today,” he began, “‘is like the day when the Major said to the Colonel: “Colonel, I bet I've sweat 24 gallons this afternoon.’ “*Major,’ said the Colonel, don’t sweat—they perspire. sir. “*Then, by gum, Colonel,’ said the Major, ‘I'ma hoss."”"—Washington Star. ‘gentlemen Hosses sweat, Concealed Weapons—‘“Isn’t that a sword cane you've got there, Sam?” “No, sah. Dat ain't no sode cane, sah.” “Well, it looks like one. Sam, you know it’s against the law to carry a sword cane.” “Well, I isn’t breakin’ no lo’, sah. Dat cane I take when I goes t’ cullud balls, sah. It ain't no sode cane; it am a razor cane, sah.” —Yonkers Statesman. Her Father’s Profession—London children certainly get some quaint views of An instance of this recently occurred in an East End Sunday school, where the teacher was talking to her class about Solo- mon and his wisdom. “When the Queen of Sheba came and laid jewels and fine raiment before Solomon, what did he say?” she asked presently. One small girl who had evidently had experience in such matters promptly replied: “Ow much d’yer want for the lot?"— New York Globe. Where He Fell Down fine lot of Shakespeare?” “I do, sir,” was the reply. “An’ ye think he was mair clever than Rabbie Burns?” “Why, there’s no comparison between them. “Maybe, no; bu —"Ve think a ye tell us it was Shake- speare who wrote ‘Uneasy lies the head that wears a crow Rabbie would never hae sic nonsense as that.” jonsente; sir!” thundered the other. Aye, just nonsense. Rabbie would hae kent ine that a king or queen either disna ganga to bed wi’ a croon on their head. He'd hac kent they hang it over the back 0° a chair.” Philadelphia Ledger On the Surface—“On the surface Ger- many looks all right, but underneath—down, under the crust—believe me, it’s a different story.” The speaker was John L. Wilkins, the Ger- man war correspondent. He went on: _ “Germany, presenting so delightful a sur- face to the world, reminds me of the man and woman at the shore. “This man and woman impressed evi y- L. DOUGLAS “ THE SHOE THAT HOLDS ITS SHAPE" $3 $350 $4 $450 $5 $6 $7 oI You Can Save Money by Wearing vn W. L. Douglas Shoes. The Best ./ Known Shoes in the World. 3 W: L.Douglas name and the retail price is stamped on the bottom of every pair fj of shoes at the factory. The value is guar- anteed and the wearer protected against high prices for inferior shoes, The retail prices are the same everywhere. They cost no more in San Francisco than they do in New York. They are always worth the price paid for them. Th: quality of W. 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Light a pipe for our boys in the trenches 25.532 sates 145 Spark St. Brockt Enough to make one of our gallant defenders happy for a week. _ All the bother of mailing will be borne by us. Promi- nent magazines and ne" eepepes ‘stand back of this movement. The space for this advertisement Is given free by the pablabers of Leac10'6 aod Jopon. A War Souvenir for You A feature of this Fund Is that in cach package is enclosed a post card addrewed to the donor. If these come back from those whose dreary days have been cheered by Your kindness. they will be war sourentrs you will reasure forceer. Send Your 25c NOW! Dive into your pocket Out comes a quarter. Mail it at once—currency, stamps or money order. he icker it comes, the quicker our boys will have their smokes. A similar fund in England bas sent over four million packages to soldiers and sailors. BOYS SHOES FRAUD. | None genuine untess The Boy Who Pegged Shoes. Besides pegging his usual quota of shoes each day W. L. 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