Judge, 1917-09-15 · page 6 of 28
Judge — September 15, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains humorous short pieces and illustrations rather than a single political cartoon. The content includes: **"Geraldine"** — A poem about a ten-year-old girl mourning bygone fashion (long skirts), suggesting commentary on changing women's dress standards. **"March of Events Back Home"** — A gossipy piece about a character named Reno selling "second-hand livers," likely a reference to the Reno divorce scandal that was contemporary scandal fodder. **The main illustration** titled "Things We Never See" depicts "a bald-headed row at a classical concert" — a humor piece suggesting the audience at high-culture events typically includes numerous bald men, playing on contemporary stereotypes about classical music audiences. The remaining items are brief anecdotes and jokes about everyday social situations, typical of Judge's satirical approach to American middle-class life and manners.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Geraldine HEN Geraldine was aged ten She was so hard to please; She mourned because her fluffy. skirts Were nearly to her knees. Then would she search the attic trunks For gowns of bygone days, And sweep along the boulevard In truly grown up ways. Ah, Geraldine is twenty-one, Her childish ways have fl For bygone gowns with trailing skirts No more her tears are shed. And yet I fear her mind reverts To childhood days again; Although her years are twenty-one, Her skirts are scarcely ten! —Joe Cone. Gossip at the Nineteenth, Hole “Old Stentor isn’t speaking to Pepps any more.” “Why not?” “Well, Pepps told him the Hillside course would just suit his game, it had such a fine echo.” THINGS WE NEVER SEE AUTUMN Why Not? “Do you think it is right, mama, for him to spend all that money on me?” “Why not? Ifhe isn’t going to marry you, you are so much in: and if he is, you are only establishing a proper precedent.” March of Events Back Home Hicks—What became of old Boggs, who used to run the old one-horse country store? Wicks—Say, that old Reno is getting to be a regular plute, selling second-hand flivvers. The Proper Occasion “Loogy yuh, sah! Why did yo'-all whip yo’ wife when she was sick?” “Uh-kaze I couldn't whip dat hefty lady whilst she was at herse’f and had her stren’th, sah. I hatter wait a long spell and possess muh soul wid de patience o’ Job. But de Lawd was wid me, and bime-bye I kotched her whuh I could han’l her, and den I sho’ hommered her to make up for lost time.” A bald-headed row at a classical concert. Dietetics Simplified WENT to Doctor Calory And said: “What must 1 do?” “Eschew,” said he, “What you would chew And chew what you'd eschew.” Much worse, to Doctor Protein I went: “Well, what say you? “That must you chew which Eschew that which you chew.” To Doctor Gastric then I went: “You chew,” quoth he, “the day You should eschew—by whose mistake I do not chews to say. To Doctor Oldschool—in desp: I said: “Doc, name my food.” “My boy,” said h ‘The fodder that tastes good! Albert E. Hoyt. save In the Way He was making his arrangements to spend the summer at a farmhouse. “What have you in the way of scenery?” he asked “There ain't nothin’ in the way but a couple o’ mountains,” replied the farmer. “If it wasn’t fer them you could see scenery clear to the County seat.” Saradine Swelchic (reading) —The Qucen of England re- ceived the American Red Cross nurses at the palace y Vera de Snobbe (ce: Where is the nearest recruiting station? And how much does it cost to enlist? His Offishness “You will at least admit for the sake of argument that the world is round, and——” “ Nothing of the kind!” inter- rupted J. Fuller Gloom. “Well, then, it is flat, if that It is crooked, and I don’t want to argue.” comicbooks.com