Judge — September 15, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

| kg D O Judge's Tren.h Christmas Fund Ho’ MANY of Jupce’s half-million readers will take part in the big Trench Christmas now planning? Jupce wants to send a gift box, containing such welcome nd the like to things as candy, talcum powder, tooth paste, each American soldier at the front. Will you contribute? Thanks to the generous assistance given JupGe by the American Defense Society, there will be no clerical or ship- ping expenses to be deducted from the Fund. Every cent of the money you { give will go into the Christmas boxes, which will be supplied at cost Think of the men you know who will be “out there” next Christmas, and of what these boxes of good cheer will mean to them! What will be your share in that celebration? How much will you give? | For further information, see announcement on another page’ of this number. The Humors of War IS HONOR has enlisted! Too old to shoulder a gun, and a bit too portly to look well on a horse, he was nevertheless the recruiting sergeant as a sort of lay chaplain—a ing old codger who seemed to have a knack for accepted b: i genial, rollic | keeping the boys in spirits | And so he’s going to nee. He thought that if Santa | Claus—a man considerably his senior—could get about so pryly, there was no reason why he couldn't, too. He'll be a familiar figure in the camps and trenches. (It is casy to spot him.) He'll be found swapping stories with the boys, and spinning ridiculous nd delivering him- waren R I A L §s§ | self of whimsical philosophy with as much unblinking solem- nity as though he were terribly in earnest. Yet with him it will never be a one-sided affair. He does not presume to be a monologist—never airs his ego in public. He is simply the moving spirit that sets going a genial give-and- take, a witty free-for-all. When anyone confesses to carrying a concealed joke about him, His Honor is always the first to say: “Let's have it!” So, men in the camps, on shipboard and in the trenches, we trust that you will return his friendliness in kind and hold up your end of the story-swapping. Any good ones you give him he'll pass along to the other fellows. And he'll pay for the pleasure at regular rates. In case you think of something funny when he doesn’t hap: pen to be on the spot, just send it, before you forget it. to his New York office. His private secretary will see that it reaches him. See particulars on the contents page. Sixes and Sevens ALL every man a traitor who would pause to debate the price-fixing scheme at Washington. Then when you sec the thing in operation, wonder where they dug up cnough idiots to pass it. 2 John D. Rockefeller’s favorite poem is The Charge of the Light Brigade.” Still he can see where Tennyson might have consolidated stanzas, shut down strophes, chopped the over- head, and reduced the charge generally. * If we go on giving them rope, some of our amateur traitors may get the hang of it. *s Our food before it can be our food has to show our inspectors that it is pure enough, cheap enough, and plentiful enough. 2 Roosevelt and Bryan are supporting Wilson right up to the handle, but they are a unit in holding that you can’t have your third term till you have had your first, and that the three terms need not be consecutive. 2 erpent or no serpent, E apple would be growing yet if Hoover could have got Eden on the long distance,