Judge, 1917-09-08 · page 6 of 28
Judge — September 8, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains two distinct pieces: **"Horse-Sense"** (left column): A humorous essay defending horses against charges of stupidity. The author argues horses possess practical intelligence and shouldn't be judged by human standards. The small illustration shows a cowboy, reinforcing the practical working-horse context. **"Inalienable Rights"** (right column): A philosophical piece asserting that while men possess equal inalienable rights to Life and Liberty, the "Pursuit of Happiness" has limits—particularly for the poor. The accompanying illustration titled "Remodeled to Suit Tenant" depicts working-class figures, likely satirizing how housing or opportunities get stripped down for poor tenants. Both pieces reflect early-20th-century social commentary on labor, class distinction, and practical realities versus idealistic rhetoric.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
HORSE-SENSE UT why refer to the purely mythical and. non-existent? The slightest degree of intelligence in a horse is so un- usual that if such a thing is detected the whole world is notified of it in good-sized headlines and some showman gets rich right away. There are as many brains in a horse’s neck asin hishead. And from the people I know who persistently inhale that drink, I am not inclined to think the liquid very cerebristic. I have been associated closely with horses, in my remarkable career. In fact, floor walker in a rural livery barn was my first stable occupation. So I am well acquainted with the thing the little cohippus eventually be- came and must have been very dis- appointed with after he became it. Once in a while we find a beautiful horse who will stand without hitching, after this has been drilled into him for ten or twelve years, and we are aghast at his erudition. People at once want to know his views on the war and the tariff. I used to ride a flour-barrel-headed bay mare with a high ridgepole, to haul hay-cocks to the stack in the meadow. Every time we went to a hay-cock the old mare had to make a left turn, back up to the thing and stop to have the rope hitched on. I hauled eleven billion, nine hundred twenty-eight million, two hundred twenty- seven thousand, six hundred twelve and a half hay-cocks that summer, seated on a feverish sheepskin that poorly upholstered her centerboard, and at the very last one as at the first and every intervening one, I had to pull my arms half out of root to turn her and saw her mouth nearly in two backing her. Horses are supposed to be intelligent be- cause, having strength, they don’t rebel and kill people instead.of working for them. This is a part of the horse’s stupidity. People who knew me well in my youth and who noted that horses did not kill me at all, did not consider this a sign of intelligence in the horse, by any means. S [ins we ‘They regarded it as rank neglect of a golden opportunity they would like to have had themselves. No, while I love horses, I am not obsessed with any fool notions about their intelligence. And if any man only knew it, when I say he has good horse-sense, I have said something intended to insult him. —Strickland Gillilan. INALIENABLE RIGHTS LL men may be created equal, but the inalienable rights with which they are endowed by their creator or any- body else are few and far between. Certainly Life and Liberty are not inalienable. Men are daily alienated from these in many hundreds of different kinds of Perhaps the Pursuit of Happiness is inalienable, but the right to pursue something is not worth much unless there is some chance of catching up with it. Even the man in solitary con- finement in a dark dungeon has the right to pursue happiness, but his resources are so limited that happiness has little diffi- culty in cluding him. OJ. “REMODELED TO SUIT TENANT”