Judge, 1917-09-01 · page 16 of 28
Judge — September 1, 1917 — page 16: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This Judge magazine page from the early 1900s contains a cartoon and several humorous pieces set in rural Arkansas. The illustration shows a well-dressed couple at a country club, with a caption joking that Billy "used to boast" he was master of his own house—suggesting his wife now dominates him, a common domestic humor trope of the era. The text pieces are mostly light rural comedy featuring "Mr. Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark," a yokel character. They play on stereotypes: children testing whether a preacher lied about a baby "bouncing," a deaf-dumb woman incompetently helping hang wallpaper (mocking female capability), and a man proposing to a widow who shoots at him. The other pieces are sentimental poetry and brief jokes about timekeeping. The satire is gentle and relies on period assumptions about gender roles, rural ignorance, and marital dynamics that would seem dated today.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
AT THE CHATTANOOGA, TENNESSEE, GOLF AND COUNTRY CLUB Anne—Billy used to boast that he was master in his own house. sister-in-law, and his The Interval THe hills that loaked like mountains In that now far-off day, The falls that seemed great fountains, With rainbows in their spray, The meadows sweet with clover, That once I wandered over, The trees that gave me cover I’ve seen again to-day. The brook where I went fishing Still babbles on its way— The brook that carried wishing To waters far away: The summer sun is lighting The swimming-pool inviting, The barefoot boys delighting That passed me in their play. The field, the wood, the meadows, The rippling waterfall, The same are, save for shadows That modify their thrall: I search familiar places And scan the passing faces— Alas! how few the traces Companions to recall!—J. A. Waldron Ungrateful Grumps Many persons get talked about who neither deserve or appreciate it. The Elder's Deception ILD howls came from around the corner of the residence of Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. After a certain season Mr. Johnson sauntered out to investigate. “Yur, you young varmints!” he de- manded. hat in torment are you doing with that there baby?” “The Presiding Elder is a liar!” they whooped. ‘He said Rowdy was a bouncing baby. We've dropped him about a dozen times, and he didn’t bounce worth a dui A Sad Case Wicker—What's the saddest case of feminine insufficiency you ever saw? Snicker—A deaf and dumb woman helping her husband hang wall-paper. A Reasonable Guess “Old man Dickery is figgering on‘mar- tying again,” said a friend. “Eh-yah!” replied Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “And I reckon he must have proposed to the Widder Bump last night. Tennyrate, I hear tell that she took a shot at him for some- thing.” May—Well, between his wife, his shter, I think he’s only a Quartermaster. At the Grand Cafon HEN first one sees the Caiion’s rim He views it in a reverent hush, And then the longing comes to him To fill the big bowl to the brim With bubbling oat meal mush. Does that suffice him? No, for soon The enraptured mind finds further forage In thinking what a curious boon It were if one could view the spoon To stir this Caton porridge. But oh! continuing the dream And deeming it entirely credible, How one would dodge the test supreme To milk the cow whose yield of cream Would make the pottage edible. And still, along the self-same tack, 'Twould make the scene a mental fixture To realize the unctuous smack Of any mouth, whose open crack Would match this breakfast mixture! —Edmund Vance Cooke. Hock the Watch “Your watch doesn’t keep good time.” “No, but it has redeeming qualities.”