Judge, 1917-07-28 · page 7 of 28
Judge — July 28, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains **humorous social commentary** from Judge magazine, likely WWI-era based on references to soldiers, army officers, and military service. **The top cartoon** shows "The Conscientious Objector employs a substitute"—satirizing wealthy or privileged men who avoided military service by paying others to serve in their place, a legal but controversial practice during wartime. **"The Notion Counter"** by Douglas Malloch is a collection of witty one-liners mocking American society: expensive living costs, regional pretensions (rural farmers vs. city dwellers), dependent marriages, Broadway audiences from the Midwest, and romantic clichés. The line about the "conscientious objector" repeats the cartoon's theme of draft avoidance. **The lower illustration** titled "The Flower of the Prussian Guard" appears to mock German militarism (Prussia being Germany's dominant state), showing a stiff, pompous officer—typical anti-German propaganda of the era. **"Still the Dream"** is an unrelated sentimental poem about romantic idealism.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
The Notion Counter By DOUGLAS MALLOCH ALWAYS hate to see a soldier in the crowd when the flag goes by, because the degree of enthusiasm with which it is received makes me feel that I am obtain- ing blood under false pretenses. Considering the much dis- cussed high cost of living, instead of throwing rice at the bride and groom after the wedding it would be much nicer to send it around to the house. The hardest thing for a New Yorker to get through his head is the fact that the best in New York is not necessarily the best in the Un States. A dependent wife is a good reason for a man not going to the front, and one who is inclined to be independent is a good reason for going. The farmer may sometimes scem a little crude in a ballroom, but when the ballroom dame tries gardening it looks like it is the farmer’s turn to laugh. In view of the high cost of living, when Harry Hardup tells Miss Milyun that he cannot live without her he means every word that he says. The Conscientious Objector employs a substitute. I have been making some study of the southern dialect and, as I understand it, the “r”” is pronounced only when it isn’t there. The “tired business man” who sup- ports the Broadway musical shows is generally from Keokuk, Iowa, or Grand Rapids, Mich. Uncle Sam having rolled up his sleeves, he ought to permit the army officer to unbutton his collar. The landlady’s beautiful daughter ought to enlist in the navy: she would be great at repelling boarders. When a man comes a long distance *y to make a speech he generally makes the speech as long as the distane The trouble with the practical joker’s sense of humor is that it is more humor than sense. Sometimes a lover wants her for him- self, and sometimes only to keep her such a democratic country en envy a man his lower berth. that v The amount of money that I can lend my friends is always over-subscribed. yy may find each of the allies in favor of a separate piece. The New York idea is merely the sub- stitution of food for sleep. A joke often becomes a very serious matter after you marry it. A football victory might properly be ~* called rah material. STILL THE DREAM By CLINTON SCOLLARD J LOOKED in Summer’slanguorous eyes And found them dark and deep with dream, The dream of loveliness which lies Hid in the twilight’s fading beam. “O Love,” I said, in questioning wise, “Are you the same, or do you seem To wear the olden, golden guise?” She answered, “I am still the dream!” “ The Flower of the Prussian Guard.”