Judge, 1917-07-21 · page 7 of 28
Judge — July 21, 1917 — page 7: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
**Top Cartoon - "How to Deal with the Submarine":** A WWI-era joke suggesting absurd methods to combat German submarines—pouring asafetida (a foul-smelling substance) down a periscope. This ridicules both the submarine threat and armchair strategists offering impractical war solutions. **"The Lucky Varmint":** A rural anecdote by Tom P. Morgan about a wildcat that escaped a wagon full of children through sheer speed and luck. It's humorous folk wisdom with no apparent political meaning. **"Transmutation" (Poem by Corinne Rockwell Swain):** Contrasts "Dainty Dudley," a wealthy peacenik obsessed with fine dining and fashion, with his present self: a soldier in WWI serving under Uncle Sam. He's now content eating army rations and wearing khaki. The satire celebrates patriotic sacrifice and military service, implicitly mocking civilian complaints about wartime restrictions and food hoarding (referenced in the cartoon caption below).
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
XUM HOW TO DEAL WITH THE SUBMARINE—(SUGGESTION NO. 9718) Creep up on the nasty thing and pour asafetida down its periscope. THE LUCKY VARMINT “QOME people 'pear to be just nach- erly born lucky, and I reckon it is the same way with varmints,” ad- mitted Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “As [was driv- ing along the big road tuther day, with about eight of my children setting on a spread of hay in the back of the wagon bed, a wildcat hopped out of a tree top right down into the middle of ’em. The children gave a yell and jumped to a common center, which was the wildcat. The varmint saw whur he was at, and gave another yell and leaped from the wagon and was gone. He was too quick for the kids, but, at that, Rowdy and Runt had such firm clutches on his hind legs that he bumped Runt’s head good and proper against the side of the wagon bed as he went over, and car- ried Rowdy, the baby, clear out and tumbled him in the dust. I shore reckon that wildcat was born with a silver spoon in his mouth.”"—Tom P. Morgan. TRANSMUTATION By COP ROCKWELL SWAIN AINTY DUDLEY use to think Mainly of his meat and drink; If his chop was poorly grilled, If his drinks were wrongly chilled, If the service wasn’t right, cy lost his appetite. y he might he seen Lounging in a limousine; Latest cry in ties and hats, loves and newest spats— simply couldn't bear ic duds to wear! Where is Dudley? That is he, Squatting underneath a tree, Allin dusty khaki dressed, Chewing bully beef with zest; On his knees a plate of tin (Note the pile of beans within!) In his hand a battered mu On his bread a doodle-bug. Hale and happy, tanned and tough Dudley thinks it’s good enough! Dudley doesn’t care a gramme; He belongs to Uncle Sam! When a politician doesn’t explain we say he can’t, and when he does explain we say he doesn’t. ya) ENTOMOLOGY DEPT. @EETLE AND MOTH ‘SPECIMENS. “T'll report this outrage to the Government ! Someone is hoarding food !"” comicbooks.com