Judge — July 21, 1917 — page 4: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Everybody's Doing It I YOU catch your neighbor in stealthy converse with a roughly clad, foreign-looking chap, don’t call the provost guard. It’s not sedition—it’s seed. Everybody's doing it! Not to have a garden—in your front yard, preferably—is to be quite impossible for present-day urban social purposes. Besides, the gardener Adam and his wife are in the blood and bone of us all, and even if there had been no spur of war patriotism, no stress of food shortage, no appeal to the man with the hoe—who knows? Mr. Rus-in-Urbe resents the time- honored gibe that he supposes potatoes grow on trees—as if one couldn’t tell the difference between a potato and a cucumber! He has his attacks of “back to the soil. Once a year, if not oftener, he would fain be Rus-in-Rure. He would be lulled to sleep by the bullfrog’s cheerful chirp, the katydid’s full-throa son. He would sleep on the hay—drink bucolic beakers of the new- mown milk—chase the fugacious plow around the grandcestral acres! Because he can do none of these things, he drowns his feckless farmlessness in another chaser. That “you don’t know beans.” nowadays, less often fmplies paucity of intelligence than tenuity of income + As a popular exercise for wind-blown plutocrats of a certain age, gardening beats golf; you can’t do your golf per alium, but you needn't do your garden- ing per se. Napoleon looked at the violet—and saw his return from Elba, Newton looked at the falling apple—and saw the attrac- tion of gravitation. Mr. Rus-in-Urbe and his good wife look at the stunted, struggling, green things in their travesty of a garden and see a triumphal dinner for all the neighbors, next fall—‘help yourself—oh, no, nothing elaborate— but we raised it all ourselves!” Funny, say you? It is life! Only when they cannot see it that way any longer, will life be not worth living! * How do you like the Navy?” “Fine, I feel right at home in the crow’s-nest." OLON ’S announcement that the essen- tial principles of the New T ment are contained in Micah is going to imbue millions of his countrymen with a new-found respect for isinglass. 2 Shadrach, Meshach and Abednego had to be through the fiery furnace.—Brooklyn Eagle. drafted to walk They would have volunteered, if they had known they were about to demonstrate the cookless firer. ¢ In the time it takes to convince a man who is worked you could convince ten men who are out that he is played out, played out that they are worked out. 2 We used to warn our boys that they you know—but such are the subtleties of the direct: primary that latterly we daren’t tell them to go to Congress. would go to—well, He also fights who helps the fighters. fight. —Merbert C. Hoover. How do you go about it, Mr. Hoover, to help the fighters fight? Reduce the alimony—or do away with divorce altogether? ¢ Congress may not be any great shakes of a naval expert, but it couldn't quite see a world democracy fighting kaiserships with censorships. 2 Chew what you'd like to. eschew eschew what you'd like to chew. One's calories may be comprehensive so long as one’s proteins aren't palatable. 2 With all these modern improve- ments, it beats all how Croesus holds his own as the proverbial malefactor of great wealth. ‘ ¢ Economists now suggest. that we cat whale. At current prices it might be more feasible to make a meal of a whale than a ale of a meal. ¢ Congress features a lot of leaders that the Bargain Day ad. wouldn't.