Judge — June 23, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Old Financial Friends Together AM that Wad you've met, of course, Quite big enough to chok And here your pardon I invol For any nag I failed to choke. . . . Ah, had I been more arrogant, I might have choked an elephant! And I'm that biped called the Goat, Who wins the right to tote not vote, Who always gets to chew the tin But not the fruit that comes therein. Oh, could I lose these telltale whiskers, I yet might join the Wall Street friskers! The System I that broke the bank, The lottery and the “ Bookies” rank. I made the ticker jump and strain, The bulls and bears groan out in pain, An awful panic on The St Blue Monday with Black riday meet! The Gold Brick I with tarnished glow,— Ah, how I used to get the dough!— But all the yokels now are hep, And Ta ve lost my rep... So come, old friends, though foul the weather, We yet can trip a step together. Oscar H. Roesner. HIS FAVORITE of my relatives little Mr. Meek. is a failure and more cousin Horace, the best marriage.” confessed skimpy course, IT am aware that he less of a red-nosed reprobat trouble every once in a while, and comes to visit CONSOLATION She (after his proposal) —Now brace up, Charles, and remember—I a nurse to you. TAXE F BREAD is the staff of life, then taxes are the staff of government. In spite of traditional adages to the contrary, taxes are not as inevitable as death, but they | are much more desirable, which of course is not unqualifiedly complimentary. It is taxes that keep governments constantly in touch with publics. he main business of govern- ments is to levy taxes, while publics supply them. If it weren't for taxes, publics would often forget that there w $s governments, while dispense with pub- jous inconvenience, Occasionally some man like Henry George tries to become famous by offering a plan to make taxes equitable, but the road to enduring fame does not lic in that direction, Taxes shouldn’t be equitable: they should be liberal, and as all publics are hu- man, it is well to use as much sleight-of-hand as possible in extracting taxes. Hence the popularity of import duties. Without taxes, many a hard-loafing politician would have to demean himself by going to work and being useful like other mortals. —E. O. J. Kings no longer demand the rule —they are tickled to death to be the exception. “T ALMOST hate to own up to it, but I like my wife’s by or and that he gets into us in a busted state, and that he is a shame and dis- grace, and that our neighbors who know his repu- tation look at him in a way that is generally called “il askance. But, you see, while all the kin borrow money from me as if they were conferri afavor by accepting it, poor worthless Hod takes loans from me with receiving a bone.” as —Tom P. Morgan. TAKING THE CENSUS FOR CONSCRIPTION PURPOSES Father Tortoise—1 don't know where any of our children are at present, but the youngest batch must be goin’ on ninety odd years old. comicbooks.com est of my wife's ing small much gratitude as a lost dog