Judge, 1917-06-16 · page 6 of 28
Judge — June 16, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from *Judge* magazine contains wartime humor and commentary, likely from WWI era based on "The War Plants" poem's reference to fighting invading forces and potato bugs as enemies. The main cartoon depicts men in suits and hats discussing business at what appears to be a public gathering. The caption reads: "I thought Brown was going to enlist!" / "He was—but his wife left him!"—a joke about domestic upheaval preventing enlistment. The surrounding content includes golf-themed humor ("Shop Talk," "Table Golf," "Cutting Him Short") and poems like "A Song at the Nineteenth" by Walter Cutting, which uses golf metaphors to discuss perseverance and achievement. The page mixes patriotic sentiment with satirical commentary on civilian life, business concerns, and social priorities during wartime, using golf as a recurring metaphor for life's challenges.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
“I thought Brown was jing to enlist?” “He was—but his wife left him!” A SONG AT THE NINETEENTH By A. WALTER UTTING F I have failed to make a score Worth boasting of, at least I tried; I drove ’em hard . . . you can’t do more When rust and aches impair your stride; The course, you know, is mighty long, With bunkers every foot or two, But eagerly I struck ’em strong And started as the champcens do. If L have foozled at each swing, Bear this in mind: I set a mark, And setting marks is quite the thing, I'm here before tee-total dark; I rambled onward with a smil Profane? Ah, that’s for other men! To reach each hole I walked a mi : The caddy says "twas sometimes ten. If I have not succeeded quit Say this for me: I traveled on; I'm lucky to be here to-night, I thought I would keep on ‘til dawn; I traveled on until my feet Can move no more; they're awful lame; But there is consolation sweet In this: I played a lasting game. Playing the Green Wife—O'Neill says that you play a bonnie game. Is that pro talk? Hubby—No—con talk. Of Two Evils “Wasn’t it too bad that Mr. Hughes lost “Yes, but just suppose it had been a golf-club championship!” Afterthoughts “Where are most of the post mortems held in this town?” “In the locker room.”” Golf Terms of Admiration The man who is never at a loss for the right thing to say was watching a golf contest. “Don’t you think that Miss Marie isa peach?” asked someone, indicating one of the fair spectators. “Yes,” said he, “the prettiest: picture in the gallery.” Making His Mark She—Isn't Mr. Dub's playing a perfect poem! He—Yes— he Man with a Hoe.” Table Golf iver heard of table golf No. How do you play it?” “With dried pe salt spoons on an teen-hole course of Swiss cheese.” Cutting Him Short Van Putter—There is one good thing about golf De Growche—Well, I'm glad to know it, but 1 don’t care to hear what it is. The son you taught to play—What handicap do you want me to give you, Dad? The War Plants 'O SAVE my native land, I go Full-armed, to war against the foe. My powder gun, my trusty shot, And _poison-gas, as like as not. Tie deep, grim hatred toward The vicious, strong, invading horde, Knowing, that, though a lot I kill, There'll be more reinforcements still. Each hill I charge! I storm cach trench! The foe insidious I must quench. My time and skill I fr give That not a one of them may live. United, brothers, we must stand, Sworn to defend and save our land! Ah, yes, we also serve, who fight Potato Bug! Potato Blight! —Carolyn Wells. Shop Talk “Jones is always talking business at his golf club. . i he is always playing the long green. Assessing It angry with me?” he y.” said the girl judiciously, “About two pounds of candy’s worth. when it’s hot, L™ ping, when it’s cold— Eggs in the storage house Nine months old.—I'm. S. Adkins. The Hens