Judge — June 16, 1917 — page 10: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

AT 2 iq Var DEN aa3 Creamey THE A Dyspeptic Imagination (Continued from second preceding pase) with thin layers of fat bacon.’ I think I must have momentarily lost conscious- ness. I de- termined to read no more, but the temp- tation was ir- resistible. I remember one particularly moving extract. The short lyric was entitled: ‘Braised Roll of Beef, 4 la Claremont.’ It began: ‘Procure’ — that is the light and airy way in which the author usually commenced— Procure about eighteen pounds of sirloin of beef well covered with rich and delicate look- ing fat.’ However, I will not continue. Even now I cannot. I tell you that Muscatelli was a devil. He had with heartless completeness prepared a menu for each day of the year. I came on them on the 2oth of August. I found as his suggestion for dinner: ‘Soup, 4 la Bisque d’Ecrivisses; Fish, saumon ciselé Sauce Homard.’ This was followed by ‘Poulards 4 la Bellevue, Sauce Supréme,’ and ‘Canards 4 la Chantilly.’ Again I fainted. When I regained consciousness I saw the row of hardtack which had become greatly shortened.” “Sancho Panza had a picnic in com- parison,” I gobbled sympathetically. “When finally a sail hove in sight,” he proceeded, “I was far gone. During the voyage of the ship, which was re- turning directly to France, I lay between life and death. However, by the time I landed at Bordeaux I was better. I went directly to Paris. By the way, I forgot AVERAGE SEX PLAY AS IT to mention that on the island I had found a buried pirate hoard with twenty or thirty diamonds and emeralds in it, which alone would have paid an old-fashioned national debt. When I arrived in Paris I made straight for the Café de Paris. They began to take my order. I re- peated as fast as I could the names of the dishes I had known only too well. After about five minutes they called in a stenographer. With the sensation all inside the place was in an uproar. That night and the following day sowas I. I saw a famous specialist. His first words were: ‘You have had an attack of acute indigestion which will make it necessary for you to live most simply for a year, at least. As you value your life, eat only dog biscuit and drink water.’ I have been obliged to follow his directions. I live hoping for a happier time. Among the things I ordered that night I omit- ted to mention Perdreaux 4 la Péri- gueux. That, I have never tasted.” A far-away look came into his eyes. am sustained by the thought that the hour may arrive when I may have that felicity.” When Cupid Caddies HEN CUPID caddies Then look you, laddies, And look you, bonnie lass!— Although the claim is That golf the game is, Strange things may come to pass. While you are straying The game you're playing Has many more ensnared: You play a two-some, As often do some, And then come homeward paired. Douglas Malloch. And whethor The leh went % the fishes IS COSTUMED Entitled to the Special Rate Telephone bill collector—Ot course, we do have a spe rate, Where the ‘phone call is for : ular person. Mr. Peck—Well, young man, that ‘phone call was for my Henrietta—and if my Henrietta isn’t a particular person, they don’t make any. Partially Converted Jenks—How do you stand on the selective draft? Jinks—Well, I'm strong for their se- lecting some of my drafts, for the banks to honor. As a Man Is “Only the newspaper reporter k the real character of our public men “Well, don’t overlook the caddie Mary'ba4 2 little lamb, would or no, comicbooks.com