Judge — June 9, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

I told you with her little brother. So now you're not surprised I feel so awful about the book and “Oh weiber don’t know what they do,” consoled Markowitz. ‘ Maybe she didn’t like the cover of the book or of the jani- wasn’t it; the book,’’ muttered “T read it last night, and know om now , that wasn’t it, tha’ it was the book Henry why she sent it back to me. F on I'll never take a book saleslady’s advice. 'I— “What was it, what was it? Markowitz, eagerly It was ‘The Vampire and Other Poems’ by Kipling.” retorted Henry, turning away from his brother-in-law, asked Not in Keeping ONSISTENCY ha Say all advices: I do not care for cotta \t palace prices power to please, cheese Wm. S. Adkins Her Unexpected Action “There hain’t no in the livin’ world of telling what a woman will do next!” disgruntledly declared the Missourian. “Why, I took and gave my wife for a birthday present a nice new ax, so’s she could cut her wash-day wood in comfort. And burhung if she didn’t whirl in the first thing and knock me down with it!” way The cheery one—Well, Sam, | suppose when you get home the folks will kill the fatted calf, The ill one—Stop! for heaven's sake ! Umson's Blunder “/PHE manager of the de- partment store fired Umson.” “What for?” “Umson took the sign ‘How Would You Like to See Your Girl in) This?’ off a swell dress “Uh huh—” “And carelessly hung it onto a bath tub.” The Peaceful Singer LOVE to hear the birdie Its voice is surely great; And then, there is another thing It knows no song of hate C. A. Leedy An Inference “When Snort Smith drawed a knife and he'd cut Hack Peddicord’s heart out Jeff Flatt: jumped in between ‘em and saved Peddicord’s life at the risk of his own,” a neighbor. “Hm!” returned Mr. Gap Johnson, of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. ** Paying a bet, or something that-a-way. d’ye reckon?” swore related A Profit of Many Figures It is hard to get something for nothing nowadays, but merchants who sell girls’ bathing suits come pretty near it. We'll All Be Singing When we've sent all our wheat and potatoes to Europe and our sol- diers are — subsisting mainly upon corn, we'll be singing: “Samp, samp, samp the boysare munching At the Party She—So that’s Mrs. les’ husband is it? y, he’s as solemn as a tombstone! He—VYes what ever fall for him? She—L suppose — it was the attraction of gravity. I wonder made her In Germany In Germany so many topics of conversation have been forbidden by the government as dangerous that soon (ee yan "Seen Jones’ daughter?” “Ye” * Pretty?” “T advised him to give her an educatior the people won't even be allowed to speak of cach other, because they are sore subjects. THE REASON By BERTON BRALEY HE follows the mode in its vanity Trying each foible and fad, Drives me half way to insanity Merely to keep her well c Is me a bore pedagogica Laughs at my views on her life, She is a foolish, illogical Wife Sometimes she plays with me merrily, Sometimes she greets me with tears, Puz. Never is what she appears, She is the bane and alarm of my Days, when her temper is rife, jes and worries me, verily, Still, that same tempter’s a charm of my Wife etty and sweet and delightfully Tender when all is serene, Yet she can roast me most frightiully, Get most infernally mean Sometimes she’s quite hand and glove with my Mood Is it with strife, Stand it? Of course? I'm in love with my Wife! then she sp Evidently Henpecked “The circus seems to be almost an obsession with Wombat.” “He has his reasons. Says he likes to see a woman jumping through hoops.” The Pullman Pessimist HE porter, with his stubby: broom, I cannot slay and slaughter, But, like a buccaneer of old, T'll render him no quarter. —Tennyson J. Daft. comicbooks com XUM