Judge — May 26, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

BIRD-LORE AND BUSHWA HERE are many incongruities in ornithological nomen- clature. Despite its name the cowbird has no horns, it doesn’t moo, and you can’t milk it. The cowbird forms the eternal triangle in the social life of birds. It goes about laying its eggs in other nests and entirely shirks the respons ties ol domestic life. The cowbird is not fit company for good people like you and me, and we could do much better than to pattern our lives after it. All things that tly are not birds, even though they may have points in common. Flying fish can lay 40.- 000,000 eggs at one time. If some piscatorial-oological genius ever succeeds in burbanking a hybrid between the ostrich and the flying fish, for fifty cents we will be able to get enough eggs to envelop the globe in a thick layer of omelette, replace all the telegraph wires with noodles, and float the united navies of the world in an amber sea of eggnog. © —Charles A. Leedy. Between Two Fires Blondine—Gerty Giddigad is sorely puzzled. Brunetta—What's wrong? Blondine—Her sweetheart gave her a beautiful lavallicre. Brunetta—Yes— Blondine—You sce, she thinks if she shortened the chain he might be offended, and she knows if she cuts her waist any A= lower in front she will be arrested. = i auameiuil Poetic Justice TO BALL PLAYERS WHO GO TO THE FRONT “What is ‘poetic justice,’ pa? Don’t lose your heads in the excitement of a bombardment. “* Poetic justice,’ my son, is when a man makes such a long speech at a banquet that he doesn’t get home until one o'clock, HIS VISION and then has to listen to his wife until four.” ‘ RUDDERN and sistahs,” said old Brother Bogus, during nar! the experience meeting. “1 seed de devil last night in a A submarine makes a pretty poor looking Ship of State dream! Bless goodness, he was a turror! He had hawns, and sometimes he hooked yo’ wid ‘em and udder times he tooted ‘em and den run over yo’. And Sinners dat had puhticipated in bofe eppersodes infawmed me dat one was as bad as de yudder, if not wuss —Tom P. Morgan NOTE ON AN UNUSUAL LADY By ROY K, MOULTON HE never listens to a word Of gossip that the neighbors bring. For scandal valid or inferred She doesn’t seem to care a ding She does not pass the news along But strictly minds her own aff She does not knock those who She's busy with her household cares “\ model, she,” perhaps you'll say, “The only woman of her kind.” And yet she'll go thre uit the day With no small-talk upon her mind. I've never seen her stop to hear \ word about @ man or maid Perhaps it But she’s serene and u She never utters spicy talk Nor registers a deep disgust When others fail to walk the ch Tnever yet have seen her fussed For any lady, you'll admit That this is surely But there's a re n, frienc Our heroine is deaf and dum . rgeant. which side of my front rank man should I cover?” comicbooks.com