Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 6: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

INSURED MAK‘! > IT CLEAR TO HILDA By S. EL. KISER soy, BELLY!” Mrs. Bannister exclaimed, “I’ve got the most wonderful surprise for you! Guess.” Billy picked up the new derby hat, which his wife had knocked from his head in her cagerness to get her lo urms around his neck. “You've at last got a maid,” he said, smoothing the dent out of his hat. Mabel looked disappointed “How did you know?” she asked. “IT just caught a glimpse of her peeping at us from behind the dining-room door.” “Tsn’tit perfectly grand? Mrs. Gaythorne sent her. You must hurry, dear. Put on your dinner coat. T want to make an impression on her. Mrs. Gaythorne telephoned that she was a Finn and couldn’t talk English yet. What is a Finn, Billy “A short, stout person with a red fac “Hush! She might hear you. Mrs. Gaythorne said her name was Hilda or something. I couldn't quite catch it. Come! We must be ready to sit down the moment dinner is announced.” Billy Bannister could not refrain, when they seated them- sel at the table, from praising his wife’s beauty. She was radiant Hilda bore a lamb roast in from the kitchen, set it in front of Billy, and then went away, after nodding stifly when Mabel said: “Thi Mr. Banniste “Well,” said Billy, after he had waited as long as he thought necessary, “I wonder if she thinks I'm going to tear this apart with my fingers?” Mabel buzzed the buzzer, and Hilda looked in “Carvee—cuttee,” said Mabel, pointing at the roast and then sawing an imaginary chunk of meat with her finger. Hilda stared curiously at her. “Oo b'ing knifee,” Mabel explained, speaking very loudly. “See. Cuttee—makee slicee.” Her effort was successful. Hilda brought the carving set and, after glancing doubtfully at Mabel, returned to the kitchen. “Isn't it wonderful how quick she is to under- stand?” Billy’s wife remarked. “Marvelous!” he replied. “What about the bread? Has the price become so high that we can’t afford any?” The buzzer was buzzed again and Hilda reappeared. “Bled,” Mabel shouted, evidently with the idea that if one is a Finn one must ‘have diffi- WITH CUPID & CO. culty in hearing. “B'ed,” she repeated, endeavoring to give a pantomimic illustration of spreading a piece of bread. “See—b’ed. Some slicee—eat um—b'ed! Hilda b’ing um.” Hilda looked sympathetically at Billy, who made a heroic effort to appear solemn and dignified “See—no unnystan’?” Mabel went on. “Me show.” Then she repeated her pantomimic performance, enlarging upon it by eating an imaginary piece of bread. When she had finished, Hilda backed toward the kitchen, stopping near the door to say to Billy “Would you be wantin’ me to ask one of or hadn't you better tilephone for the doctor neighbors in, The Difficulty a tollable lively job to bring up a family of boys,” ad- mitted Mr. Gap Johnson of Rumpus Ridge, Ark. “If you raise ‘em to be mollycoddles everybody’ll lick ‘em, and if you raise ‘em to take keer of theirselves they'll lick you.” Gasren 26 [fan Bud—Aw, you're givin’ me the littlest piece. Sis—Never mind, I'll bite a piece off mine, n’en they'll be both the same. comicbooks,com