Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

<£ O ® — — at any G oe: bepcse? i Hi Stories with Smiles was walking about London with a friend, he was accosted by an unspeakably dirty street urchin who asked him for a penny. “How old are you, my boy?” asked the t. I’m seven, sir,” replied the gamin. “Oh, no, my lad, you must be more than : ars old.” ron! wered the youngster pertly, “T ain’t no more nor seven.” Whistler turned to his friend. “Do you really believe,” he inquired anxiously, “that he could have go! dirty as that in seven years?""—Everybody’s Magazine. Hard Wheat—‘I just stopped to tell bout that flour you sent me the other id Mrs. Newlywed. “Why, madam,” answered the grocer, “that was the best flour I carry in stock. What was the matter with it?” “Matter, indeed! Why, it was so tough my _husb: couldn’t eat the biscuits I made with it.” —London Fun, Misled—‘ You don’t know much about the current styles.” “Not much, ented Farmer Corntossel. “When my boy Josh come home wearin’ clothes in the latest fashion I thought he was payin’ a freak election bet.” —Iashing- ton Star. Thrift—A member of Parliament for a Scottish constituency, seeing one of his supporters emerging from the local post- office, thought he would have a little joke over the man’s thriftiness. “Halloa, Sandy!” he remarked, “I guess you've been in there to buy more war savings certificates.” “You're wrong, mon,” was the quick reply. ‘‘I’ve only been in to fill ma foun- tain pen.” —Tit-Bits. Another Donald Story—Donald and four grown-up relatives attended divine service one Sunday morning. Donald se- lected the aisle seat, and when the contribu- tion plate was passed deposited in it the combined offerings of his family. The vestryman, not realizing this, moved as though to pass the plate to the others in the pew, when he was arrested by a highly pitched, distinctly audible stage whisper announcing: “I paid for five.”—Harper's Monthly. Swift Departure—Paddy Flynn was very proud of a huge bulldog he possessed. The dog accompanied Paddy everywhere he went. One day a neighbor met Paddy without the dog and looking very sad. “Well,” asked the neighbor, “how is that dog of yours going on?” “Oh, be jabers, he is dead! The illigant baste wint and swallowed a tape measure!” “Oh, I see! He died by inches, then?” “No, indeed, he didn’t; he went round to the back of the house an’ died by the yard!" —Chicago Journal. Creating a Flurry—‘People took a lot of interest in me at the last party mother and the girls gave,” said Mr. Cumrox. “But you didn’t know any of the people.” “That’s what made me seem so interest- Remarkable—One time when Whistler The Sign of “The Best Safety” JAMASKEENE |. Give double service because they last twice as long —made from our own special formula tested steel, and based on 35 years experience on billions of blades—in sealed, waxed paper wrapped package— moisture and dust proof—each blade and Blade edge protected—insist on sealed package. Packet of seven, 35c. Making the Gem razor perfect has taken years of study and the expenditure of much money—outfit includes razor complete, with seven Gem Damas- keene Blad. shaving and stropping 1 handle, in handsome case—all yours, for .00 Dealers Everywhere Gem Cutlery Co., Inc., New York Canadian Branch: 591 St. Catherine St., W. Montreal _ | The Ideal Wedding Gift Old Ivory Finish Adam Period This chest,genuine Southern Piedmont Red Cedar. Send for big new cata- log, 100 designs. Reduced prices— freight prepaid. Factory to you. 15 days’ free trial. Cedar Chests protect furs, woolens and plumes s, mice, dust and damp. Ideal gift for wedding, gradugtion. Every woman wants one. Send for new cataleg toflay. Mailed free to you. Piedmont Red Cedar Chest Co., Dept. 17, Statesville, N.C. HIS amusing picture, in full colors, 9x12, mounted on a heavy mat, ready for the frame will be sent postpaid for twenty-five cents. JUDGE ART PRINT DEPARTMENT 225 FIFTH AVENUE NEW YORK CITY comicbooks.com