Judge — April 14, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Passing the Mustard No Change— Patience—Isn’t it re- markable how she keeps her age? Patrice—Yes; she hasn’t changed it in } ten years.—Yonkers Statesman. Custodian of the Treasure—‘‘Have ven let her peel the "Washington Star. Simple Solution—Passenger—How do you manage to get the men in your car to move forward? Conductor—I have the motorman let the pretty girls in by the front door.—Chicago Herald. Misapplied Adage—*I amassed by in- dustry the fortune which you squander in said the reproachful father. s replied the gilded youth, “that's the rule.’ Business before pleasure.” —IW'ash- ~ ington Star. F little boy—If a farmer An Observant Lad—Schoolteacher, to raised 1,700 bushels sof wheat and sold it for $1.17 per bushel, > what will he get? Little boy—Automobile.—Motordom. Woman’s Way—Hub (mecting wife downtown) —W hat makes you so late? ife—I stopped to shorten one of daugh- ter’s dresses for the party she’s going to tonight. I can hardly rea that she’s quite grown up now.—Buffalo Express. A Pirate “What's a pirate?” “A pirate man who tries to conduct a small, independent maritime busin on the same lines that great nations occasion- ally pursue. Washington Star. Who They Are—Jones—And who are the O'Briens’ ancesto: O'Brien—What's that? Jones—I_ mean, whom do the O'Briens spring from? O'Brien—The O'Briens spring from no one; they spring at them.—Dallas News. Discreet—“You make your heroines singularly unattractive, old chap.” “Well, I don’t like to do it, and I p sume it hurts my vogue. But my wife trifle jealous and—you know—safety first.”” Louisville Courier-Journal. Marriage a la Mode They flirted where the lights were gay Across a bill of fare. They courted in a cabaret And married on a dare. Oi course we wish them lots of bliss But may as well confess We wonder if a start like this Makes marriage a success? —Kansas City Journal. The Work of the Expert—‘“ How are you getting along with your new efficiency expert?’ “Remarkably well,” the head of a large business firm answered. “In fact, we are Stleed. with a dash of Abbott's Bitters are appe- thing and mples of bitters by mall 25 cts. in stamps. C. W. Abbott & Co., Baltimore, Md. (Adv.) ULL-ON a pair of Rinexed shoes—they’re comfortable from the start. No gradual “breaking in,”’ as with board-like leather soles. No squeaking. No slipping about on hardwood floors or marble stairs. No anything that you have learned to en- dure with leather. You for- get your shoes are new. Rinex isthe new, synthetic material that is fast replacing leather as the national shoe- sole material. It is the prod- uct of the world’s largest rubber manufacturer, backed by years of experience, in making footwear and sold under the seal of satisfaction —'‘the Honor-Mark of a Great Company.” It is better for shoe-soles in forty ways than either rubber or leather. Next pair of shoes you buy, see that they have Rinex Soles, Next pair you have resoled, do the same thing. Rinex comes in black, white and tan for everybody’s shoes. Insist on Rinex Soles— Look for the Name. United States Rubber Company Sole and Heel Dept., 1790 Broadway, New York 60 High Street, Boston There ts beauty —in a suit of any dark fabric, with white or light colored trimmings, only when the light parts are kept absolutely clean. A little CARPONA Cleaning Fluid —used each day will keep the white parts fresh indefinitely and your suit or dress looking like new. injure the most delicate fabric or color and— it will not explode 15¢.—25c.—§$0c.—$1.00 bottles. Carbona cannot At all druggists