Judge — April 7, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

RIDDLE—skercues by Donatd c. Doorman brought another card “Ny AIDA had a brand new beau (Maida prances in a show). Beau had brought his car along. jreat, big twin-six, shooting strong; Waited at the door for her, While she changed from flesh to fur. Maida read it M (She knew that prudish ladies or a couple of Maximum silencers for giggling I tell you that if I would be the owner from that stand month, in a year I would take a lease on the whole ground floor.” “But this ain’t a private business,” argued Henry, “ this is a public place. You didn’t come here to do business, you come to see art. Stop talking around and let’s go and see something. Let's hurry up, I’m getting hungry.” “You didn’t come here to get hungry, you came here to sce art.” mimicked Markowitz, ironically. “I’m getting off pretty easy, treatin’ you to the Museum and feedin’ you on Dutch paintings and Greek statues. I’m glad this ain’t one of them dancing teas, with a charge of a dollar a bite. Come, let's go ahead and ask that floorwalker to show us around!” “Oh, let’s show ourselbes around,” urged Henry, leading his boss in the direction of the Egyptian exhibit. “Look, Max, in this museum, and about a dozen more like it, there is collected all what is left to show from thous- ands of years and billions of people. What once was showing off and took up a whole woild, now you sce in a little corner. See all them swords in the showcases; fancy handles and fancy coives; hundreds from them. It looks like the killing business was busy all the time, just like now in the twen- tieth century. And over here they got mummies what's dead more than three thousand years. It looks like they liked to kill off with their swords all the live ones so as to preserve them as dead ones.” “But I feel very much like a live one,” complained Henry. “Hungry like on Yom Kippur, and getting—" “Honest, Henry, I believe you,” admitted the skirt manufacturer. “If this was a res- taurant and not a museum, I wouldn’t mind going in for a little marienerte herring and some chicken saladde myself; and you could have what you wanted. We live only once and 1 must admit it would be my treat But what's the use talking? Let’s finish the museum and then we'll have supper by your house. If Minnie was home, you'd had it Bess less dude! (He's the chap just wrote a book) ida took another look: “Will you sup with me?” McFadyen. VERSES by Otis C. Liftle Il you sup, the while Iread Verses from my latest screed?” Maida never stopped to blink (Maida didn’t need to think). I will put it up to you: Now, which one did Maida do? “Arthur Bard” he wrote, meant table d’hote.) Come let’: than Pharaoh. Ain’t they Markowitz suddenly stopped, turned around, and com- menced retreating quickly, pulling Henry with him. “This way, Henry “We forgot to see the oldest mummie in the woild. It’s been dead ” “T don’t care how long it’s been dead!” cried Henry tri- umphantly. “I’m alive and hungry. Did you read the sign near them carpets. Come here! I'll read it to you: ‘This way to the restauran They ain't such back numbers here after all. And believe me, they'll do some good business right ay!” And Markowitz followed like a lamb led to slaughter. look at them carpets what must be older by me. Somehow Americans can’t help picturing the war eagle as the teeth and the glasses, and the peace dove as the Chau- tauqua feature who immediately follows the Tyrolean yodlers. Surprising—that so rich and brainy a woman should marry a-penni Jack—But who else would marry a rich and brainy woman? comicbookpaws