Judge — March 24, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

“AS I came down to the eee office this April morn- ing,” said the Horse Physic thoughtfully, “1 noticed on the sidewalk — in front of Bogg’s New York Store an invit- ingly apparent derby. It was placed tempt- ngly, and must have caught. any ed ind vidual than myself. But’ 1 Ky CHARLES ¢ less sophis )\ passed it by = Now my father, as you know, was a gular physician in this town—an M. D., which might, but does not, mean man doc- et tor as opposed to one who ministers to the other animals—and he came in time to be some shakes in the Exalted and Profound Order of Greatfellows. He bought a high hat—of the sort familiarly known as “plug” —-and after he once wore it in public he was generally called upon to par- ticipate in all parades, to be in attendance at all funerals, and to make a speech at all open air mectings. Folks like to sce a fellowtownsman fixed up to look like a man from a more fortunatelocality. Everybody in town knew my parent's hat “On the morning of April first in the year of which L speak I slipped cautiously down the back stair, out through the stable, up the alley and across the back lots and down into Main Street. On the way I scouted in | CHOOSING A PROFESSION “} kicked that hat with all the ardor of a lover, the sharp im- patience of an Oversver of the Poor, the stern unswerving pur. pose of a Justice of the Peace, and the sure mechanical judgment of the carpenter. “When he discovered that there was more under my father’s hat than he had anticipated he let out a yell that outdid anything any of my child-dream Indians ever offered. He grabbed his toe and hopped about actively, letting loose an- other yell with every hop, and waving his knobby-headed cane wildly. The cane came against the show window of Miss Livelong’s place. “The millineress looked up at the sound of the falling glass, siw Encle Davy going through his odd exercises, and came swiftly to the rescue. When she got the door open, the ex- overseer was just launched upon the second division of his remarks about persons who would hide stones under a high hat. Miss Livelong listened for a moment with red face and horror-stricken eyes; then she flounced back ins slammed the door. “About this time Uncle Davy cast a suspicious glance over toward the doorway of Chittingham’s Hall, and we were scared stiff wondering if we were recognized. We made no move of any sort; when Mister Petts had gone away we came out; I picked up my. father’s IMPRELL JONES fe and back yards, and behind wood- sheds, all the while whistling a peculiar, trilling call, until I gathered about me my choicest comrades. Under my coat I car ried my father’s high hat “In front of Miss Samantha Livelong’s Millinery Emporium we set the hat fairly in the mid- dle of the sidewalk. We chose the spot because the deep door- way of Chittingham}'s Hall offered a safe point of observa- tion. Under the hat we placed a large round stone—bricks be- ing at that time at a premium. In passing I will say that I cher- ished no desire to work injury to any person—all myself and my companions wanted was to have a little fun. Out of Miss Livelong’s place came old Uncle Davy Petts. He was stamping along as if somebody had just stid to him something he didn’t like at all. Uncle Davy was an irascible sort of a citizen—he had been Overseer of the Poor, in his outh a good carpenter, and since outh a suitor of Miss Livelong’s. He was now a Justice of the Peace—having managed to ob- tain the office the year my father beat him to the job of mayor. Uncle Davy remembered, 1 sup- pose, that my dad had nosed him out of the mayor's place, and drew back his foot savagely. He YET HE'S A BIG MAN, IN TOWN headpiece and we all stole softly homeward. “My father’s bill for fixing up Uncle Davy Pett’s sore toe was seventeen dollars and ninety cents, While he was attending the case L almost worricd myself sick trying to decide whether 1 had better warn him; but 1 wasn't sure that Uncle Davy had seen me. When the toe was well and my parent desired his money Uncle Davy explained to him that he did not mean to pay one cent of the bill. He said, profanely, that my father could sue if he pleased. “Every time my father saw Uncle Davy after that he came right home and gave me a tan- ning. And when Miss Livelong charged my oldest sister what: the family held to be two dollars too much for a hat I got the blame for that also. The next time my father wore his hat in public Uncle Davy almost had an apoplectic fit at the sight, and Miss Sa mantha was so frightened she went straight home, got into bed, and wouldn't even let them raise the curtains for three days. Beth f them sent for father, and I re- tired to the hay-mow. It got so that the only way [ could be sure of immunity from the strap was to stay in the barn out of sight. And that’s how I came to I spent so be a horse doctor.