Judge — March 24, 1917 — page 25: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles Not Needed—The young bride had dearly formed ideas on industrial questi “L will give you something to eat,” s informed the tramp, “if you will get that ax— Oh, I shan’t need that,” the tramp interrupted in a reassuring tone. teeth are all right.”"—Philadel phia Record. French in the Trench—Jommy (to Jock, on Ieave)—What about the lingo? Suppose you want Lo say " over there, what do you say? Jock-—Ve juist say “Oot.” Tommy bose you want two? Jock—Ve s3 "wa oofs,” and the silly auld fule wife gies ye three, and ye juist gic her back one. Man, it’s an awfu’ casy language.—Glasgow Herald. Bothered Works Both Ways —.Mrs. X Why with time-wasting callers, are you? don’t you try my plan? Mrs. ¥--What is your plan? Mrs. X--Why, when the bell rings, 1 put on my hat and gloves before I press. the button. If it proves to be someone I don’t want to sec, I simply say, “So sorry, but I'm just going out.” Mrs. ¥—But suppose it's someone you want Lo see? Mrs. NX T've just come in.” Oh, then I say, “So fortunate. Pittsburgh Dispatch. How Excused—"I'm afraid I'm going to lose my temper when I make this speech,” Some of the remarks [ want to make will never be excused unless it. can be claimed they were said in the heat of debate.” Washington Star. Getting Along—"How are you getting along with your new efliciency expert?” “Remarkably well,” the head of a large business firm answered. In fact, we are still quite friendly, although he has dis: charged several members of my family.” Birmingham Age-Herald. Practical Alice —* Alice, if 1 told you that I loved you dearly, that there was no other girl in all the world for me, would you promise to be mine?” Would you mind telling me tirst whether that is a proposal or a hypothetical ques tion?" —Florida Times-Union. Shoo!—Shoes are advancing in price. They had to quit using paper in the soles.— Waco Times-Herald. No Joke—*Now, my girl, don’t rush hastily into marriage. Marriage is a serious matte: _“Tget you, grandma. It’s no joke to go after a divorce and have to spend six months getting a residence in some faraway town.” ~Louisville Courier-Journal. Surprised—Vrast—I see a Massachusetts man has a parrot which has a vocabulary of seventy-five words. Crimsonbeak—1 didn’t know there were that, many swear-words in. existence.”— Yonkers Statesman. EGYPTIAN DEITIES “The Utmost in Cigarettes Plain End or Cok Typ Rople of culture, refinement and education invariably PREFER Deities cf any other cigarette o5° y fg AAnaigyres Makers of the Lighest Grade Tarkish and Egyptian Cagarettes in the World The Unconventionality of Kipling his habit of stripping off the veneers and penetrating the shams of civilization, of putting the naked facts before you just as they are, is the secret of the unmistakable intensity of the relish of all male Rudyard Kipling who is seen at his best, in that wonderful freshness and vigor of style that electrified the English reading world, in the readers for Lotus Edition (Imported) which the misfortunes of war in the publish- ing trade abroad have made it possible for us to offer, while they last. at A Real Bargain Only $1. 9O ks. Each Volume 6!ix4!s Inches. Big Bold Type. Attractive Cloth Binding. Gold Decorations. Six Volumes containing the marvelous stories of Life in the Jungle, of Oriental stery and Sensuousness, of the British Soldier in Peace and War, and his deathless poems which once read are never forgotten. The same contents usually found in 10- volume edit supply is exhausted. Be sure to send for your set Today and learn about the other Imported Sets in the Great Authors Library Series. f Hs Brunswick Subscription Co., Judge 3- 1116 Brunswick Bidg., New York City Enclosed find $1.00 for the six-volume set of Ki carriage prepaid. Also mail list of other Imported § @ Name © Address B comicbooks.com