Judge — March 24, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

THE PASSING OF THE SHELL By P. GREGORY HARTSWICK unofficial ukase banishing shell-rimmed glasses from their midst. The reason given is that the students who wear shell-rims are called on more frequently than those wearing plain lenses or those who go about with the eye totally undressed. There was a time when the adornment of his face with a pair of nobby- tread rims was a feature indispensable to the success of any serious-minded student. Without his searchlights he was shunned of the fair, and put down ssone who really took no interest in his college work. This was particularly true in the study of Law. Among the many odd bits that we picked up in cur brief acquaintance with the Long Arm was the fact that the high- TN Columbia Law School undergraduates have recently issued an stand men wore shell-rims. Our neglect to purchase a pair of these atrocities | may possibly account for our untimely demise, as far as the institution was concerned. All of which might lead one to much philosophical reflection. It would appear that there is some subtle distinction about shell-rims that gives a greater grasp of facts and ideas. ‘To us a tort through any medium of vision would be as tortuous, a malfeasance as malfeasable, the Rule in Shelley’s Case as unruly. But those men who had retired from the world behind bar- riers of glass and shell trotted right along as though there were no difficulties anywhere. They approached examinations with confidence and passed them with sang froid. . . . We also ran. And now we sadly question, Why? Looking backward, it seems that the dell-rims were more often called upon, while the plain-treads sat in silence and drank in the wisdom of their brothers. And in the Spring the little goup of immortals that composed the honor-men were almost all devotees of the circular wind-shields. The few who weren’t didn’t wear glasses. Astigmatism was a virtue, myopia a blessed gift. 1 differed in the manner of attachment to the person. A few daring souls affected the pince-nez, with a yard or so of ribbon dangling therefrom, the wider the ribbon the greater the mind. But the majority hooked the things over their ears and let it go at that. There was one style which had the conventional rods running back to the aural openings, but no hooks. They were apparently retained in their proper places by an unfailing trust in the beneficence of Providence. The air of wisdom thus attained was suffi- Gent to pass the toughest course in the place without the least difficulty. But now the old order changeth. Shell-rims are taboo at Columbia, and the movement will undoubtedly spread. It will be interesting to see what becomes of the honor men when their badges of brilliancy are removed. It vill be like stripping a king of his ermine and putting him into overalls. A nan who has always worn shell-rims will never look the same without them. lis the first step in the enfranchisement of the masses and the abolition of ial barriers of society. The time will come when one will not be able todistinguish a high-stand man from a repeater except by the hunted look ea the repeater’s face when he looks at an examination. Which is as it should be. Hail the dawning of a new day! A Helpful Hint WPHE MAN who fails should ask himself why, also why another man has succeeded under apparently the same circumstances?” sid Professor Pate. “If he does so the chances are that he will draw irely erroneous conclusions, and be firmly convinced that his failure is ¢ to fate or the fact that some one has it in for him, and that the success of the other is to be credited to luck or a pull, or something of the sort. Thus he probably will be encouraged to continue his struggles in the hope t bye-and-bye he will be able to throw off his hoodoo or the other fel- bow will lose his pull. If he clearly realized the truth that his failure is Ge to his own lack of sense he very likely would not have the courage to ontinue his efforts.”” Hamlet's Oversight “There is a strange inconsistency in ‘Hamlet,’” didactically stated Professor Pate, who was still sm: g from an experience with a real Stater. “Although he refers to ‘The undiscovered country from whose toum no traveler returns,’ he does not go ahead and try to sell us cor- ter lots in it.” Select “Is your society here very select?” questioned the stranger. “See them graves over thar? They was all filled by fellers who came ‘0 our dances without invitashuns,” replied Arizora Bill. Your Vanity Doesn’t Go Far Enough VANITY which prides itself merely on a good complexion isn’t enough. 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