Judge, 1917-03-24 · page 14 of 28
Judge — March 24, 1917 — page 14: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains three distinct satirical pieces typical of Judge's humor: **Main Story Cartoon (top left):** A narrative about a man (Elvary) visiting a woman obsessed with her pet dog named Adonis. She showers the dog with affection while Elvary tries to acquire it. The satire targets wealthy women's excessive sentimentality toward pets—a common target of early 20th-century social criticism. Elvary's polite interest masks mercenary motives; he leaves and "cleaned out the bunch at Pirate Bridge" (gambling), suggesting he manipulates sentiment for personal gain. **Minor Cartoons & Verses:** Include jokes about unreliable suitors, social etiquette, and women's education. "The Higher Education" satirizes educated women (Felicia) whose knowledge serves only domestic purposes—cooking, childcare, and baby records—implying formal education is wasted on women who ultimately fulfill traditional roles. **Practical Advice Column:** "Useful Household Hints" offers domestic tips, reinforcing the magazine's assumption that readers prioritize homemaking. The overall tone reflects era-typical gender attitudes and class commentary.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
whined and at once became meek. Civilization has done almost as much for dogs as it has for humanity. “T never—never—punished Adonis before!” said Ma apologetically. “But you deserve it, don’t you, deari And she left the percolator to bend down and kiss Adonis with impulsive sentiment. istened his lips. Maude poured coffee and “Adonis is fortunate,” ventured Elvary. “Had him long? By Jove! I never tasted such coffee before!” “ Adonis is wicked to-day! Four years. Here, darling!” And she held up a cube of sugar. Adonis forgot there was company. “One gets attached to anything in that time—any pet, I mean. Did Adonis ever bite any one?” “Oh, yes! He’s a fine watch dog. And once Dollande —before we were divorced—struck Adonis. But he was paid dearly for that, wasn’t he, darling! You bit Aim, then, didn’t you?” “Served Dollande righ should never strike a dog. “T knew you loved dogs! And you'll adore Adonis! He grows dearer and dearer to me every day! You dar- ling! Wontooletoodearickissooswect ums And she kissed Adonis and gave him surplus sweetness in the shape of an- other cube of sugar. “I don’t suppose you'd part with him for any considera- tion—in any circumstances,”’ ventured Elvary. art with Adonis? What a question! other cup?” Elvary had risen. “TL couldn't, really, wonderful as it is! I had luncheon, you know, just before I dropped in.” He looked at his watch. “By Jove! How time flies! I’m five minutes past an engage- ment now!” They rose together. At the door he looked at her admir- ingly. “What wonderful coffee you brew!” That night at the club, with mind at ease, he cleaned out the bunch at Pirate Bridge. I'm sure,” said Elvary. “1 Have an- More to the Point “Our popularity depends upon how well we treat our friends,” said the Parlor Philosopher. “And how often,” added the Mere Man. More Over ‘ Kindly make room on your list of persons who have their ups and downs for the movie fan who sits next to the aisle. BOTH TO BE CONGRATULATED Ariadne—Thank goodness, I didn’t marry Percy. He's so unreliable. Penelope—How so? Ariadne—Why, he swore he'd pine away and die if I refused him, and now look at him! WHY WORRY? Enthusiast—What | propose, sir, is to call on the nation for men of my stamp who can offer the enemy an impenetrable front. THE HIGHER EDUCATION By HENRIETTA OTIS SHAW LICTA knows her Latin and ja knows her Greek And there isn’t any language that Felicia cannot speak But the only foreign tongue she uses sounds a bit inane, It’s the lilting lisping language of the little Clarice-Jane. Felicia knows her Algebra, Felicia knows her “ Trig,” But for higher mathematics do you think she cares a fig? For the only time she really finds that figuring is good Is when calculating quantities when mixing baby’s food. And Physics then and Chemistry? Felicia knows them both, She used them exclusively in cooking mutton broth. And History? Ah bless you, yes. Felicia knows that too, But it’s labeled “Baby Record” and it’s bound in baby-blue. Useful Household Hints I Sa perfectly easy the family pile. Any first pair ys ones, so skip those and take the ne: The refractory screw-top of a pickle jar can be readily re- moved by placing the neck of the jar across the edge of the sink or stove, and striking it a smart whack with a flatiron. A closet door that sticks should not be violently yanked at, as it endangers the knob. Instead, a gentle outward pressure should be ¢ d from the other side of the door. To ascertain the amount of coalories required by a healthy increase or diminish by one lump at each feeding until ly-balanced ration is established. ing may be made a valuable means of moral uplift by ing what you want to say when the can tips over. When putting up the screen door for the first warm days, it will save time if you remember that you put away the screws in the matchpocket of that old coat you wore when you took down the screen in October. —Frederick Moxon. matter to pick out your own rubbers from bu pick up will be the wrong comicbooks, UM |