Judge — March 17, 1917 — page 8: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

mean inside the village—is just like by other villages, like by Brooklyn, Brownsville,—hard i instalment collector what found out your new address. But outside it's different © day from night—soft like the feelings of a future mother-in-law. The needles from the pines are on the floor and you walk like on a carpet in the parlor. Only the dif- ference is you can smoke and throw cigar ashes and nobody will tell you a woid. The pines are so straight lik business man right after his foist: bankrupte The air feels so fresh and real genuine quality like it was manu- factured raw in the mountains and_ finished by sunshine and ocean breezes. It smells so good, like the foist samples from a poifume 0 you think them winter vacations are good things?” queried Henry, anxious to con- tinue the conversation so as to avoid his monotonous ledger. “Good things?” yelled back Markowitz. “Yes, we husbands are the good things, not the vacations! Them weiber are plain meshuga, just cra. It ain't enough yet that they go four seasons by clothes, they got to have four seasons by vacations also! Before the their clothes an ng yet by the mountains in the summer they got to show off their dia- monds and their husband's rating already in the winter. Right away they'll have so many vacations like complexions and stay home just so much | good lodgen bruder. Henry, show me a minute in the year what they're home like my mother used to be regelar from New Years to New Years! When it’s cold they make it hot for you in the city if you don’t send them to warm countries; and when it’s warm they make it warmer for you if you don’t send them to cold storage. They always watch the ther- mometer, and go north when it goes up and south when it goes down; but the expenses what a) mettle ibe gears py, | EXACTLY Inquirer —Just where did the torpedo strike? I want to know exactly. Sailor man Stabbo'sd bilge, mum. ‘baft o' midships, forra’d o° number two bunker. MARKOWITZ AND HENRY Discuss a Winter Resort with an Indoor Sport Ry LOU RAR ‘“ U, MAX, how was Pinochle by the Pines?” inquired Henry Shapiro, N the bookkeeper, of Max Markowitz, his boss and brother- after the latter’s week-end visit to his family at a popular winter resort noted for its pine groves and invigorating climate. ‘What was you doing, all the time?” “What was I doing all the time?” repeated Markowitz, putting particu- lar stress on the personal pronoun. “Why, a million things! Walking. S| Lhonest don’t know from where to commence to tell you. ‘The lake is polished so fine that it looks just like a looking glass and you can’t pull the ladies away from it even to attend a whist where there's four prizes by every table. The skating is so easy that » the woist skaters, regelar beginners, make exhibition figgers on the right away they get on. And the sleighing, Henry, I tell you the sleighing is the best number in the lot. The bells ring, the wind whistles, the driver sings and everything is just like by the opera—even the price of the seat.” “But how about the pines, the | woods, the walks?” impatient sked Critic —Doggon such liter'ture where the hero Henry, who was attentively following his brother-in-law’s description. gets licked by only one Indian, A fellow shouldn't “The walks?” echoed Markowitz. “The walks inside the country—I be allowed to read it! comicbooks.com