Judge, 1917-02-24 · page 10 of 28
Judge — February 24, 1917 — page 10: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page from Judge magazine contains several satirical pieces mocking generational and social trends of the era (likely 1920s). **"I Cannot Sing the Old Songs"** criticizes younger generations' rejection of traditional music in favor of modern syncopated jazz and "Hawaiian melodies." The poet laments daughters dismissing classics like "Old Black Joe" as "cheap." **The brief humor pieces** mock contemporary social anxieties: a husband keeping a mediocre college poem secret from his wife (satirizing marital transparency demands); parents' unrealistic expectations for their son; and a woman's obsessive shopping habit. **"The Last Ditch"** cartoon satirizes female consumers as perpetually dissatisfied—a shopper rejects fashionable Oriental fabric solely because it will be outdated before she can have it made into clothing. The overarching theme: generational and gender-based social changes. The magazine presents modern youth as frivolous (favoring jazz), modern women as unreasonable (demanding husbands' complete honesty, endless shopping), and contemporary values as shallow compared to older traditions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
THE 1 CANNOT SING THE OLD SONGS By DOUGLAS MALLOCH CANNOT sing the old songs I sang long years ago, For May, Marie and Marjory would think that they were slow. When bye-gone hours come o'er my heart I long for some old strain, But Marg and May together say such music gives them pain. I cannot sing the old songs, they're buried good and deep; The graphophone I leave alone—the tunes I know are “cheap.” We have Hawaiian melodies forever in our flat; “Long, Long Ago,” or “Old Black Joe,” they never heard of that I cannot sing the old songs, the records all are hid; Instead they sing some classic thing that calls somebody “kid.” Of golden dreams departed I'd like again to hear; But “Hip, Hooray,” not “Nellie Gray,” it is that greets my ear. But now and then I catch a note of some familiar air; For memories of tunes I know I joyfully prepare. And then some syncopation comes to agitate the dusk: They're ragging “Rock of Ages,” or fox- trotting “Money Musk!” After Church She—You mean the topic—not tropic —of his sermon, dear. Dear—I mean just what I said. It was hot stuff. The Difference Grandmother used to make her own dresses, but grand-daughter doesn’t even make her own bed. A man may have to wait for heaven to attain real bliss, but did you ever have a boy of yours make an end run? DISCRETION 6¢JOHN,” she said, “Mrs. Dovekins tells me that her husband always confides in her completely. Why can’t you be that way with me? He never keeps anything from her.” he only thinks so. I know some- thing he’s keeping from her.” Oh, do you? What is it?” poem he wrote for our college weekly when he was an undergraduate. If she ever saw it she'd never have any confidence in him again.” —S. E. Kiser. His Silly Parents “If you could have your choice,” she asked, “would you marry beauty or wealth?” “Neither,” he replied. - “I want you.” Yet his parents had thought of having him trained for the diplomatic service. SON WORSHIPPERS ONE OPINION OF D. CUPID ‘OU may say that he can shoot you With a dainty bow and dart, And no wise brain will dispute you, Nor will any honest heart; But you must also admit you Can't as readily make clear Why the little brute should hit you With a brick behind the ear. Chas. C. Jones. Why Did you go to church this Mrs. White morning? Mrs. Black—Yes, our telephone is out of order and I wanted to invite some friends to bridge tomorrow night. Taking No Chances Bess—Why, do you know, he calls on me oftener than he did before I refused to marry him. Jess—The coward! THE LAST DITCH Salesperson—Here. madam, is something very nice in sporting material—Oriental, as you see, but in the mode. Shopper (who has “looked at” everything else on the counter)—Yes, very nice; but I'm sure it would be out of style before I could have it made up! comicbooks.com XUM