Judge — January 27, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

XUM Passing the Mustard Hubby’s Dinner She plays at bridge with other queens ‘Till daylight dies And then she buys a can of beans And homeward hies. —Kansas City Journal. Reserving for the Future—Bil/—And are you going to give up all your bad habits at the beginning of the year? Jill—Oh, not all of ‘em. You know there are other New Year’s Days coming.—Yon- kers Statesman. An Urgent Case—Violently the loving hook her husband’s shoulder. she said. wife “Wake up, George,” “The doctor has just sent your sleeping draught.” —Chicago Herald. Thankful — Mrs. Nexdore—That girl across the way has a singular voice. Mr. Nexdore—Thank God it’s not plural. —Musical America. But—“I aly what he thinks.” “But people who always sa think usually think — such things.” —Chicago Herald. like to hear a man say y what they disagreeable Why—“An American citizen army would not fear asphyxiating gases of any énemy.” Why so?” ery voter has smoked campaign cigars and survived.” —Buffalo Express. No Delay—“Do you ever ask your wife’s advice about things?” “No, sir; she doesn’t wait to be asked.” Boston Transcript. No Holiday—‘Don’t you want a holi answered the self-considering citi “I'd rather go down town and sit in zen, anice warm office than stay home and have to shovel snow.” —Washington Star. Correct—Poct (rejected and dejected) Tl be thought better of when I am dead at's so; you won't be writing any more then.—Cincinnati Star. As to Collars—* Vanessa says she will wear no man’s collar.”” “IT commend her decision. ‘This fluffy stuff is more becoming to her particular —Kansas City Journal. She Was His—“I wonder why Flub- dub always alludes to his wife so unctuously as ‘my own’?”” “Well, she is his own. Everything else about the place he quiring on payments.""—Kansas City Journal. Substitute—Do you enjoy a problem ‘ replied Cayenne. “It’s the only way I know of to talk scandal without harming somebody who actually exists.” —Washington Star. The Difference—* What's the difference tween a Socialist and a plutocrat?” There are many, but the leading one is When the Rattlesnake Struck Judge! When you sent me up for four years, you called me a rattlesnake. Maybe I am one—anyhow, you hear me rattling now. One year after I got to the pen, my daughter died of— well, they said it was poverty and the disgrace together. You've gota daughter, Judge, and I’m going to make you know how it feels to los one. I’m free now, and I guess I’ve turned to rattlesnake all right. Look out when I stri Yours respectfully, This is the beginning of one of the stories by O. HENRY Send Coupon for the 12 Volumes, 274 Stories It costs 40% more to make these sets, because paper i ink and binding gone up. This is your Up—up—up_ goes the sale of O. Henry, higher and higher eve day. Long ago he reached high above all records in the world for the sale of short stories. And still the sales climb until soon there will be no home without O. 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