Judge — January 13, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

"hal meaty nt ling a ati Borg baa Side Laughs The making of a movie is almost as full of ro- mance and adventure as the finished film itself. | There’s many a laugh and prank that happens “off-stage” that never reaches the screen. You will enjoy the play more when you see it on the screen if you know the “‘inside’’ of its production and get acquainted with its heroes and heroines. You can meet your favorites informally in the columns_ of FILM FUN. Besides their chatty stories and the striking pictures of the new features soon to be released, you'll find the magazine full of laughter and fun all its own. FILM FUN 10 cents a copy $1.00 a year Published by Leslie-Judge Co. 225 Fifth Avenue New York How the Other hat. Well, Just as I got in the store they put up a sign, ‘All hats at half price.’ “So you only had to spend half of the money you intended.” ‘Oh, no, I bought two hats instead of one.”—Chicago Herald. Yes, But—Crabshaw—Your wife delivers temperance lectures, doesn’t she? Henpeck—Yes, and then she comes home and acts in such a way as to drive a man to drink.—Buffalo Courier. Modern Medicine Fditor’s Note: Deputy Attorney General Merton E. Lewis sends Jupce the following reproduced from a publication which he cannot recall but it is still worth reading: I went to a modern Doctor to learn what it was was wrong, I'd lately been off my fodder and life was no more a song. He felt of my pulse, as they all do; he gazed at my outstretched tongue; He took off my coat and weskit and harked at each wheezing lung. He fed mea small glass penstalk with figures upon the side, And this was his final verdict when all of my marks he'd spied:— “Do you eat fried eggs? Then quit it. You don't? Then hurry and eat ‘em Along with some hay that was cut in May— There are no other foods to beat ‘em. Do you walk? Then stop instanter— For exercise will not do For people with whom it doesn’t agree And this is the rule for you: Just quit whatever you do do, And begin whatever you don’t; For what you don’t do may agree with you And whatever you do do don’t.” Yes, thus saith the modern doctor. Tradition be doubly durned! What the oldsters knew was nothing compared to the thing: ‘ve learned. ‘There's nothing in this or that thing that’s cer- tain in every case Anymore than a single bonnet'’s becoming to every face. It’s all in the diagnosis that tells us the patient's fix— ‘The modern who knows his business is up to a host of tricks. “Do you eat roast pork? Then stop it You don’t? Then get after it quickly, For the long-eared ass gives the laugh to grass And delights in the weed that’s prickly. Do you sleep with the windows open? Then batten them good and tight, And swallow the same old fetid air Through all the snoozesome night. Just quit whatever you do do, And do whatever you don’t; For what you don’t do may agree with you And whatever you do do won't.” Of Course Not—Mistress—In your last place, Bridget, did you pay for the dishes you broke? Bridget—Pay for thim? Av course not. D’ye think I'd be after workin’ for nothin’2— New York Times. Indeed He Oughtn’t—She—Can a man tell when a woman loves him? He—He can, but he ought not to.—Yale Record. Corks pop and fly when Cook’seis opened. Every bot- tle is a storage bat- tery of eager and abundant life, grape vigor and fragrant deliciousness. Sold Everywhere— Served Everywhere AMERICAN WINE Co. St. Louts, U. S.A. HOTEL LONGACRE BROADWAY and 47th STREET NEW YORK CITY Convenient to everything. The refined air and good service of the Longacre are well established. pri Re ith ‘Tworroom Suites and LaSalle Extession Ueiversicy, Best, Wt, “Chicape, Um, comicbooks.com