Judge — January 6, 1917 — page 23: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

JUDGMENT FOR DEFENDANT By RICHARD LEIGH WATKL “ Y HUSBAND is no longer necessary ‘to my career,” said the M pretty Mrs. Charles Austin. ‘Dear Alfred, I love only you; Iam yours. . . . I follow the dictates of my feelings. Sur Charlie will be manly enough to let me divorce him without opposition Alfred Loftis departed from the Austin apartment and drove away in his luxurious limousine shortly before Charles Austin entered weary a day of small business. two can no longer live as cheaply as one,” she remarked sententiously as he entered their kitchenette. He assented. “Dear, could not our finances be bettered by a separation?” she ven- ess isn’t very lucrative.” you will not contest my divorcing you upon the grounds of non-support ? That would be the one courteous thing 1 could do for you, my dear “Dear, then why not do it at once? From his office next morning Austin ‘phoned his lawyer to commence suit against him for divorce upon any grounds surest of the quickest results. “By the way,” he continued, “how long will it take you to get me divorced?” “Ten days,” replied the lawyer. Austin ‘phoned his wife that she would have her divorce in two weeks. Whereupon she called up Alfred Loftis and told him that they could be married in a fortnight. Two hours later Loftis entered the Austin apartment. “My dearest little love,” he said, “I have bought you a $100,000 home. As you will be my little wife in a fortnight, sec, I have had the conveyance made directly to you!” He handed her the deed as she rushed into his arms. Immediately Mrs. Austin had the conveyance recorded, then the rest of the day doing much needed shopping, charging all bills to Charles Austin. The day after suit for divorce was instituted Mrs. Austin was taken ill with appendicitis. Though Charles Austin, husband, gallantly saw to it that his wife had the very best surgical attention, Mrs. Charles Austin died upon the operating table. Mr. and Mrs. Austin, husband and wife, had no children and under the just law of their state the lawful husband inherits all the wife's property. Mr. Charles Austin finds his handsome new home very comfortable. Spasmodics Up-To-Date ‘OU write a short line, And then a longer line—much longer—as long as your paper will hold, And to that you add a few middling lines About your baby or your influenza Or your temperament or your potato-patch Or anything that is definitely and exclusively yours; Only be sure To get the lines really ragged and quite Unscannable, And to avoid above all things rhymes, For these are viewx-jeu—Victorian—goners, (And also they mean Hard work, but this is between ourselves.) It is a good plahto mention your grandmother Or the pet hedgehog in your garden or whatever it is By name; (Names are easy and fill up a lot because you can keep repeating them;) And wherever you feel some punctuation is needed Don’t put it then it can't be wrong Never be too sure about what you m Or you m ¢ it away like any has-been, And then good-bye to Parnassus, But if you attend to these few points and are careful To end up something like This everybody will know That you are A real Poet . H. Friedlaender. q | INCE the time when the man on horseback rep- resented the advance guard MELLOW of civilization we have been AS making Cascade During MOONLIGHT all these years there has been no change in our old- fashioned integrity of pro- cess, purification and aging. Original Bottling Has Old Gold Label. GEO. A. DICKEL & CO. Distillers Nashville, Tenn PURE WHISKY If you can draw a little and want to draw more, you have an opportunity to learn at small expense to yourself. EUGENE ZIMMER- MAN has an established reputation as a car- toonist. He has put some of the tricks of his trade into a book, “CARTOONS AND CARICATURES” bound neatly in 34 mo- rocco, which will be sent to you prepaid on receipt of $1.00. ZIM BOOK 1-6 Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Ave., New York City — comicbooks.com