Judge — December 23, 1916 — page 30: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

When Physician Meant “Physic— Dispenser” N Shakespeare’s time, if you were sick and went to a doctor he did one of two things. He either bled you or “‘physicked”’ you. Physicians no longer prac- tice bleeding. And the leaders of the profession are equally opposed to the in- discriminate use of 1 ive and catharticdrugs. In fact, the habitual use of laxatives is now known to be one of the most fruitful causes ot constipation, Physicians of the himhest standing prescribe Nujol because it relieves constipation without any bad after effects and without forming a habit. It acts in effect as an internal lubri- cant, preventing the bowel contents from hardening, and in this way facilitating normal movements. NUJOL is Lottled at the refinery and is sold only tn pint bottles bearing the name NUJOL and the imprint of the Standard Cil Company (New Jersey) Refuse substitutes—be sure you get the genuine. STANDARD OIL COMPANY {New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey Send for booklet,"“THE RATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATIO! name and address plainly below. Write your } | gers in his silky beard. ; that the moths couldn't get at them, THE FIRST PACIFIST WILIGHT was falling over Eden’s fragrant solitudes. Eve was thread. ing pink baby-ribbon through her extra fig-leaves; and Adam seated beside her, was smoothing the handle of a large club with a bit Of glass from the backbone of a glass-snake. In the distance sounded the infinitely mournful cry of a young stegosaur, ca‘ling for his evening meal of three tons of hay anda carload of Christmas trees. The scene was one of beauty and contentment. “What on earth have you got that club for?” asked Eve as she tied a bit of ribbon in a dainty knot and patted it approvingly Adam shivered in the cool night breeze. and warmed his chilled fp. “Well I'll tell you. Eve.” said he. “T though it would be a handy thing to have around in case a few of the animals for. got themselves and started to get fresh.” ‘‘ Nonsense,” snapped Eve, fold. ing her fig-leaves and thrusting them beneath the bark of a cedar tree « “stuff and nonsense! The animalsar as harmless as kitte! They're just as polite to me as they can be.” “Maybe so, maybe so!” admitted Adam. “Still. there are times wher aclub is a good thing. I was out hunting for new animals to name the other day, when I found a woolly rhinoceros lying in the middle of the path. | didn’t have a club to pound him with; and I was afraid to kick him out of the way, because he’s pretty solid underneath h's wool. and I wasn’t anxious to bend my feet. So I had to walk around him. My legs and arms were badly scratched by the twigs and brambles; and I rammed my te some old stumps and nearly telescoped them. The next time he lies dow ‘n my path, I'll have a club with me; and he'll get a dent in his skull th will give him ca for thought!” Eve bridled indignantly. ‘I thick you're perfectly cruel” she exclaimed. “You'll make the animals so angry at you that you'll have to spend all your time watching them and getting out of their way.” Adam snickered. “I'd rather watch ’em than have them fix me so that I can’t see anything. Why, a little while ago I w out in a field trying to tell the difference between mushrooms and toadstool: so that I could name them intelligently, when one of those open-faced bre-tooth tigers came rampaging out of the woods. I don’t know what ailed him. His eyes were all bloodshot, so he may have sat up with a sid friend the night before and worked himself intoa fretful state. Anyway, ke came whooping and yowling and galumphing right at me as though b didn’t care whether I was there or not; and if I hadn't called mys’ prominently to his attention. you'd have had to drag me home on a shutter, “What did you do? Write him a note?” asked Eve with truly fem nine curiosity. “Note nothing!” replied Adam derisively. “I had a nice acute. boulder with me, and I let Mr. Sabre-tooth Tiger have it between the eye: It was just then that it dawned upon him that he had important busine: elsewhere; and he turned and sprinted for parts unknown with enthus- asm. That awakened me to the fact that I should never be without a neat little memory-jogger in the shape of the latest-model oak club with prominent nubbins on the business end—something that will make th animals do a little heavy thinking before they try to push me around.” “Just the same.” expostulated Eve, “I wish you wouldn’t! I you have a club, you'll begin to think that you have to use it; and the first thing! know, you'll be hitting all the animals in the garden, and none of them will te on speaking terms with us Having registered her disapproval. Eve snified haughtily and prepared to ascend to her sleeping-quarters in a near-by bar n tree. Adam shrugged his shoulders. “I'll tel! you what I'll do, Eve. said he. “If you'll sleep on the ground I'll go without a club.” “What!” exclaimed ¢ in horrified tones ‘sleep on the grou! and have the spiders bite me and the mice run al] over me? Well, I gues not!” “But my dear!” protested Adam. “can’t you understand that it’s? worse for me to carry a club than it is for you to sleep in a tree? W only protecting ourselves against our natural enemies. Can't you see th! same thing?” ” declared Eve’s voice from the leafy depths of the bar You’ re a horrid, stubborn old thing. and you ought tok Are you coming to bed. or are you going to sit ef yan tree. ashamed of yourseli! all night?” “I’m coming. dear,” replied Adam. winking genially at the serpes who was hastening past on his way to the Garden of Eden Saurian AS ciation to witness a ten-round bout between Battling Iguanodon a0¢ Knock-Out Pterodactyl. “And when you come, club. There’s a bat up here!’? So Adam did. called Eve, a bit more faintly, “bring you —k. L. Roterts. ————w EE SS ETT me comicbooks.