Judge — December 23, 1916 — page 27: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Stories with Smiles Good Advice—A minister was questioning his Sunday School con- | ing of the Apostle Paul, fell asleep, and, falling out of a window, was taken op dead. . . “What,” he asked, “do we learn from this solemn event? é reply from a little girl came: Effect of Dissipation—An aged mother was scolding he jor some of his bad habits. ‘Ain't you ‘shamed of yousef,’ to be chawin’ tobaccer and smokin’ that old pipe. You jes’ ruinin’ of sour health “But listen. * replied her son, “I am 7o years old, ain't 1?” “Yes, you is,” admitted the mothe ut maybe if you didn’t chaw an’ spoke you'd be go now,” —Youngstown Telegram. r US in A Husband’s Ruse—* Mulliger,”’ whispered Mrs. xt room. It must be a bur; Tawny, “I hear aM gmething moving in the id Mulli to attrac as well as you do, you shiftless wretch, but the burglar Nonsense! ‘There's nothing sleepily. © going J] don't know it!” hissed Mrs. Tawny. ‘Oh, there’s a man with a dark s fall” lantern. . , oe . ane = : know “Let meat him!” cried Mulliger Tawny. And in one bound he had the masked intruder by the throat. “T surrender!” gurgled the house-breaker. “Take him out to a policeman,” cried Mrs. Tawny, from under the bed- th, are | dothes. And after holding the burglar by the power of his eye as he hastily dressed, Mulliger led him from the room. h goes J Once outside the burglar tore off his mask and laughed great, round s'm.— | laughs: “Oh! Oh! Oh! Then he and Mulliger repaired arm in arm to the club and draw poker. It was the first night's ation that poor Mul- lger Tawny had had in two months.— Detroit Free i He Took the Hint—Scribb and his wife were going to the theater. ve to “Will you please go upstairs and get my goats off the dressing table?” me. Roe: » queried the puzzled Scribb. “What new-fangled idea -They got now?” ul’ snapped the wife. some Then she sailed away and soon returned, putting on her gloves. “Are those what you mean? Why, I call those ; “T used to,” replied Mr: ¢ getting so old I am is the [ashamed to call them by that er.’ —Philadelphia Ledger. her.— And More Coming—The stern father had consented to the engage: ment, and the young fellow was wildly elated. He loved fair Flossie for her goodness, of course, but she was also the late | daughter o' ry wealthy father. And his gratified excitement showed in his voice and face. w0.— “Oh, well, Brown, 1 the old man, as he thoughtfully eyed the cigar the suitor offered him, u needn't be so conceited about it! You're the seventh young chap I’ve accepted as a prospective son-in-law this year leaf} and I’m expecting two more to come along next w "2 “Wew-what!” stammered Brown. “‘I-I don’t understand what you party mean!” _ “Tt means,” said the elder! nic calmly, “amusement for my girl and free cigars for me!" Chicago Journal. . yan Jock. Recognized—Miss Hathaway, teacher in a country school, always tried need | to make the lessons as inte! Pp ple to her little pupils. “Now, children he said, “you have named all the domestic ani- mals but one. Who can tell me what that one is?” | hall _ “What!” cried the teacher, “Does no one know? Now think: It has bristly , is fond of the dirt and likes to get in the mud.” cho One little boy at the end of the raised a timid hand, “Please, ma‘am,” he said, refl “it’s me.”’—New York Times. ofa Made a Mess of It—During a social evening a woman sang for the fe?” guests. One of the guests turned to a meck-looking little man sitting at his side and said: “How awful! Who can she be?” hat,” replied the man addressed, “is my wife.” “Oh, I b-b-beg your pardon!” stuttered the other. “She's really a— I know she'd sing beautifully if she made a better selection of her music. Who do you suppose wrote that song?” treo su the author of that song,” replied the meek-looking little man.— Argonaut, ceming the story of Eutychus, the young man who, listening to the preach- | , sir, ministers should learn not to preach too long sermons.’’— | | MELLOW AS~: MOONLIGHT. am MOOTH as the tread of a forest creature — rich with the life and vigor of the finest grain—pure by thorough purifica- tion— mellow as moonlight— Cascade. Original Bottling Has Old Gold Labet Gro. A. DICKEL & Co. Distillers Nashville, Tenn. expense to Z PS ATA sh ROTI If you can draw a little and want to draw more, you have an opportunity to learn at small yourself, EUGENE ZIMMER- MAN has an established reputation as a car- toonist. He has put some of the tricks of his trade into a book, “CARTOONS AND CARICATURES” bound neatly in 34 mo- rocco, which will be sent to you prepaid on receipt of $1.00. IM BOOK 12-23 Brunswick Building, 225 Fifth Ave., New York City comicbooks.com