Judge, 1916-12-23 · page 12 of 32
Judge — December 23, 1916 — page 12: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This page contains two distinct pieces of satirical content: **"Just Boys"** (main article): A commentary on boyhood that catalogs the contradictions and frustrations of being a boy. It mocks how boys are simultaneously discouraged from gallant behavior, denied desires (bicycles, skates) in favor of education savings, yet expected to account for their whereabouts and injuries. The satire targets parental hypocrisy and society's conflicting expectations of youth. **The Henry/Markowitz narrative** (continued story): Depicts a working-class Jewish character (Markowitz, identifiable by the Yiddish "Nu?") who gives his brother-in-law Henry romantic advice. Henry foolishly follows it, buying ice skates for a girl, only to be outdone by a wealthier "college feller" who purchases an opera ticket. The joke satirizes class anxiety and the inadequacy of working-class courtship rituals against wealthier competitors. **The bottom sketch** appears to mock racial stereotypes with exaggerated dialect humor typical of the era's offensive conventions.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
(Concluded from second preceding pase.) like a boid flies in the air; like a fish——" Enough, enough!” cried Markowitz, opening the door leading into his factory, “I gave you a good idee, so now you can stop worrying and com- mence working,” and he closed the door behind him. The following morning found Henry gloomily hunched over his ledger, as his brother-in-law entered the office. “Good morning!” said Markowitz, a greeting in which he seldom indulged, but which was called forth by Henry's de- jected appearance and the manufacturer's curiosity as to the result of his suggestion. ‘Nu? How was it last night?” Henry didn’t reply but turned over a page and commenced footing up a long column of figures. “Henry, I'm talking to you!" exclaimed angrily. an't you be a gentleman and answer? you to do what I tell you!” “And I wish I hadn't done what you told me,” shouted turning around suddenly. ‘or why not?” inquired Markowitz, anxiously. I give you good advice?” “Such adv mocked Henry. “Like a fool and a cheap skate, I bought her ice skates like you told me; but that college feller, like a sport, bought her a scason ticket——" “What? For the opera?” broke Markowitz, throwing up his hands. “No,” sighed Henry, ‘for the skating Markowitz, T want “Didn't The Way Today . grandma, I am just back from finishing school.” “Ah, my dear, let us see what you have learned. How should a young lady enter a drawing room?” “Well, grandma, methods differ. Some girls enter with a giggle; others with a whoop.” What It Is What's a “specialist,” pa? who wonders Willie Willis Papa Willis—A man what ails you, at $100 per wonder. Miss Gladys JUST BOYS By FRANCES Lb. GARSTDE \ a boy reads of any one sleeping so long the medi- 1 world is interested, he wishes his father had a chance to w him up. From the time a boy sits under a street corner light playing with toads until he is blind and toothless, he has to account to some woman why he didn’t come home catlier. When he tries to be gallant, he is discouraged: He pe orange, and gets it so dirty only his mother will take a piece when he generously tries to share it. Every time a boy delivers ackage, the one receiving it says, “Why didn’t You bring it sooner?” One of life's greatest hardships for a boy is to be refused bicycle and skates and ball, because the money is being saved for his education! Turn a boy into a room filled with men, and instinctively he finds his way to the side of the man who is shy several fingers. A boy isn’t very much of a boy if he can remember at night when his mother is examining him where he got each new bruise that day. A boy may be noisy, he may be disorderly, he may be im- polite, but put this to his sting credit: He never pretends a liking for some one he dislikes. Moe—Ah gif yer a nickel fo’ a kiss, Miss Cladys. Ef you-all’s lookin’ foh a jitney bus you done hail de wrong hack.