Judge, 1916-12-02 · page 32 of 36
Judge — December 2, 1916 — page 32: what you’re looking at
What you’re looking at
This is primarily an **advertising page** from Judge magazine, with decorative comedic short stories at top. The page contains little political satire. The **short jokes** ("Stories with Smiles") are typical vaudeville-style humor: exaggerated mishaps about moose-hide shoes requiring sand to prevent slipping, a waiter's circular logic that chicken pie needn't contain chicken (like a dog biscuit), and a man's complaint about prohibition removing free lunch offerings. The **advertisements** promote contemporary products: Evans Ale, Dunlop golf balls, patent law services, the Hotel Powhatan in Washington D.C., Lachotte gems, and Romeike's press-clipping bureau. One ad for "Be Sensible!" promotes hand-carved jewelry and gold items. The page reflects early 20th-century consumer culture and humor conventions rather than substantive political commentary. The only oblique social reference is the prohibition joke, reflecting ongoing temperance debate of that era.
📄 Transcribed text from this page (OCR, searchable)
Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.
Insure His Christmas Cheer and Winter’s Comfort Pie Nean ean Evar Ale The Gift of a Thousand Joys and Remembrances ANl dealers or write to C. H. EVANS & SONS, Estab. 17%, HUDSON, N. Y. " otk, AK fe “ “The Compass, The Sn Post of the Wor'd.” Kayler nstroment Gamponics Rochester, N.Y. Makers of Scicntific Tnetruments of Superiority James M. Barnes 1916 Professional Champion always uses GOLF BALLS Why don't you ? THE DUNLOP RUBBER CO., Ltd. Birmingham, Eng. Genuine epee: Gems asahog fry forever, Bet in ete aastog fy f ews Cashes ot iow SECURED OR FEE RETURNED Actual search and report FREE. Send sketch oF model. 1916 Edition, 90-page atent book free. My pate ‘ales ser- vice gets full value for my Prompt service. Versonal service. | GYORGE P. KIMMEL larristerBldg-, Wahingtos. B. ¢ Stories with Smiles One Disadvantage—“‘I see you are wearing a new pair of shoes,” the fat plumber remarked, as the thin carpenter boarded the street car. . Have to get ‘em once in a while.” “Tt's awful how expensive shoes are now, and how quickly they wear out “That's why I bought this kind.” “What kind are they?” ‘Moose hide soles.” “Are they pretty good? “There is no wear out to them.” “T'll have to get me a pair. “There is only one fault to be found with them, “What's that?”” “A man gets kind of tired carrying around a big bag of sand.” “Whaddye want to carry the sand for?” “In wet weather the moose hide soles get so slippery you have to carry the sand to sprinkle on the pavement to keep from skidding.”—Youngstown Telegram. It Didn’t Follow—A hungry customer seated himself at a table in a restaurant and ordered a chicken pic. When it arrived he raised the crust and sat gorging at the contents for a while. Finally he called the waiter. “Look here, Sam,” he said. “What did I order?” “Chicken pie, sir, And what ha Chicken pie, sir.” ken pie, you rascal,” the customer Chicken pie! Why, there’s not a ¢ of chicken in it, and never was.” u's right, sir, there ain't no chicken you brought me?” hen why do you call it chicken pie? I heard of such a thing at’s all right. There don’t have to be no chicken in a chicken pi here ain't no dog in a dog biscuit, is there?”—The Wasp. Superficial Elegance—* Don't you ad- mire the hand of iron in a glove of velvet?” “Yes,” replied Miss Cayenne; “but what you more frequently observe is the rough neck under a fur collar.” —Washington Star, Losing Game—*‘I'm sorry I asked the girl to clean the typewriter.” “Why?” “She took fifteen minutes to clean the type and two hours to manicure her finger nails. afterwards.”"—Aunsas City Journal. Willing to Hurry—‘My mother-in- law must catch that train, driver, so hurry up.” “You can count on me, sir. I shall drive as if she were my own.” —Boston Transcript. News—“What's the trouble house?” “Fall cleaning. Everything upset. And there’s so much news in the last month’s papers that I'm afraid my wife will never get the pantry shelves fixed up."—Pilts- burgh Post. at your Vanishing Perquisite—‘‘Are you in favor of prohibition?” “Yes,” replied Uncle Bill Bottletop. “But 1 do kind 0” wish that they'd fix up some scheme for puttin’ up a free lunch to go with every soft drink.”"—Washington Star, |Hotel Powhatan WASHINGTON, D. Cc. | Pennsylvania Avenue, H and Eighteenth Sts., N.W, Overlooking Ww ite Hout oe every comfort and luxury, alsoa superior service European Plan, Room 8, detached bath, $1.50 and up Write for Souvenig Bookler and Mop E. C. OWEN Manager Hotel Powhatan n of ita new addition. , BE SENSIBLE! Don't pay retailer's profit. We save you one-half. 1. 14K solid gold, hand-made ch Fing set with 7 real di ‘everywhere no less than $35 00, our ) special $21.00. 2, Solid gold carved oriental setting with real Japanese pearl, special $5.00. 3. Handmade 14K Gent's Belcher, set with 7 real diamonds. looks like 2ct., solitaire, special $25.50. : 4, Solid gold hand-made La Val bere. aokd, gold chain. ermine diamond, $4.50. Catalogue sent on request SRAIVESS 366-5"At > NEW YORK. ck whatews ‘delight any smoker, FRENCH TOBACCO CO... Dept. C. Statesvitle. N.C Danda Leather Key Case wir Reis STAMPED af COLD 25e ase rocket With Pod! Ani, pate Eres by Pn ring pasos tito M1 Grats Foca ve Re Pere Soa your Tage or amy maf "Every newsp faited States and Burc for 100 notices. __HENRY ROMEIKE. 106-110 Seventh Ave. SY" Seventh Ave. “MADE AT 4a ark