Judge — November 18, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Send for booklet, “THE RATIONAL TREATMENT O1 FIGHTING TRIM WHETHER your battle is fought in the trenches, behind an office desk or in the home you need to keep fit. It’s comparatively easy for the soldier tokeepup toscratch. Thecivilian—man or woman—has a harder task, Seden- tary habits, insufficient exercise, too much food and too much hurry about cating it, combine to cause a more or less chronic condition of constipation Don’t think you can dispose of con- stipation with a cathartic pill. La: tives and cathartics cause more con- stipation than they cure and their persistent use is likely seriously to undermine your health. NUJOL relieves constipation effectively and has none of the objections which are common to all drug remedies. It acts as an internal lubricant, prevent- ing the bowel contents from becoming hard and facilitating the normal proces- ses of evacuation, NUJOL, put up in pint bottles only, is sold at all drug stores. Refuse sub- stitutes—look for the name NUJOL on bottle and package Dept. 13 STANDARD OIL COMPANY (New Jersey) Bayonne New Jersey name and address plainly bel Address... City. sees State Fy CONSTIPATION.” Write your Ww Stories with Smiles Speaking of Appetites—A huge cating competition had been held by some brawny sons of toil in a country town in Yorkshire, and one of rd competitors had succeeded in disposing of a leg of mutton, a plentiful ply of vegetables, and a plum-pudding, the whole washed dosn with copie draughts of ale. ¥ He was unanimously declared the winner and was being triumphanth escorted home when he turned to his admirers and said ‘“ | “Ah, say lads, don’t thee say nowt o° this to my ole woman, or she wea gie me no dinner!” —Tit- Bits. | Inspired—* Children,” said the teacher to her class in compositiog, “you should not attempt any flights of fancy, but write what is in you” ing composition: “We should not attempt any flites of fancy, but rite just what is ings. | In me there is my stummick, lungs, liver, two apples, two cakes and py | dinner.” —People’s Home Journal. } Dead, But Much Alive—An English officer who had been, through mistake, reported “killed in action,” on his return from the front went to his bank to cash one of his checks. The clerk at the counter, instead of asking the welcome question, “Hor | will you take it?” looked doubtful and puzzled, stared at the soldier, and finally hurried away to seek advice elsewhere. He presently returned with the news that the check could not be cashed “But you know me, and that is my signature!” exclaimed the astes ished officer. lerk, hesitatingly. “But the fact is, sir, that you'r e and I'm told we shall require you to give pro to the contrary before we can pay the money.""—London Answers. The Formula Failed—Willic had disobeyed again, and his mother bad sent for a switch, declaring that she meant to “ wear him out.” | “Now, Willie.” she demanded solemnly, “do you know what I'm goig | to do with this switch?” | “Yes'm,” he answered promptly, “you're going to shake it at me ani | say, ‘Willie Parsons, if you ever do that again I'll switch you good!” | But she didn't.—The Christian Herald. The Cause of It All—It was hard lines on old MacTammart, th laird of Tillifidley. He was keen to be out and about his business, and her | he was laid up with a bad attack of gout. | The local doctor came, and, of course, began to examine the old mass foot. And the old man used bad language and wound up with an angry: | “Why don’t ye strike at the root of the matter and get me better?” | Without a word the doctor picked up his walking stick and shattereda | decanter of port wine, which stood on the table. | With a yelp of wrath and a grunt of pain, MacTammart sprang tol | feet. “Whit did ye dae that fur?” he demanded fiercely. “Och,” replied the doctor, a blunt old chap, “1 wis jist striking at te root.”"—London Answers. Learning His Lesson—The man whose house was next door scraping an acquaintance with t man who had just moved in 7 “T sce you have an automobile,” he said. “1 suppose you will use te | barn as a garage.” Yes; I expect to use it as a garahzh,” responded the new neighbt This held him for a minute or two, and then he made another ov | ture he man that lived here last year,” he said, “used his back ye f | as a cabbahzh patch.”—Pittsburgh Times. | Answering “Yes” or ‘“‘No"—Colonel Waters, who died in Kass | City recently, had practised law longer than any other lawyer in ke as C He was admitted to the bar in Macomb, IIL, before he was: 3 Abraham Lincoln was a lawyer practising in the same @ trict then and Waters rode in the same circuit with him. Once Colt Waters retained his friend to help him in a case. The opposing lawye: manded one of their witnesses should answer a certain question wilt i or “no.” Lincoln contended the question could not be® There's no question on earth that can’t be ansee® J with a direct ‘yes’ or ‘no,’ declared the lawyer. “You take the stand fora moment and I'll show you,” said Lincola. The lawyer took the stand and Lincoln asked him: ‘Have you @ beating your wif The lawyer became indi; incoln repest his question. The Judge, laughing heartily, insisted the lawyer must ans With the aid of Lincoln Waters won the case. Lincoln charged 3 $25, a large fee in those days.—Kansas City Star. comicbooks.com As a result of this advice, eight-year-old Richard passeil in the folie. 4 |