Judge — October 28, 1916 — page 26: what you’re looking at

Machine-transcribed from the original scan — historical spelling and the odd misread are preserved.

Physician Meant “Physic— Dispenser” N Shakespeare’s time, if you were sick and went to a doctor he did one of two things. Ile either bled you or “physicked”” you. Physicians no longer prac- tice bleeding. And the leaders of the profession are equally opposed to the in- discriminate use of laxative and catharticdrugs. In fact, the habitual use of laxatives is now known to be one of the most fruitful causes of constipation, Physicians of the highest standing prescribe Nujol because it relieves constipation without any bad after effects and without forming a habit, ts in effect as an internal lubri- preventing the bowel contents from hardening, and in this way facilitating normal movements. All druggists carry Nujol, Avoid substitutes. Write today for book- let, “The Rational Treatment of Constipation’* using coupon below. STANDARD OIL (New Jersey) New Jersey COMPANY Bayonne Send for booklet,“THE RATIONAL TREATMENT OF CONSTIPATION.” Write your name and address plainly below. * Dept. 13 Address... ........-2-0+--Cit¥.... --State........--- recently come to America, “hears some absurd, ridiculous and inept re there. You stand and gaze at the falls, profoundly moved, and then of sudden, something is said, and the effect of the grandeur goes forever, : “The day first. saw Niagara a man touched my arm as T look up at those white waters. I turned to him. He had the smile of the | confirmed joker. “Tt seems a shame,’ he said, ‘to sce all this goin “What are you?’ I said, ‘an electrical engineer?’ “*No,’ he answered, ‘a milkman.’ ""—American Boy. to waste.’ A Good Bet—Two great friends—a Scotchman and an Englishman— met in the smoking room of a hotel, and the Englishman at once proceeta to monopolize the conversation, as he usually did. "i The Scotchman bore it for a long time, then he broke in quietly, “I say, old chap, I'll back you and me to tell more and bigger lies in half an hour than any other six men I know!” He paused, and then went on gently: “And T wouldn't speak a single word the whole time!” A Gentle Hint— Hints and suggestions are often more efficacious thay heroic measures. A man in a barber's chair had a big claw on his watch chain. 's claw?" said the barber. suppose you killed it yourself, sir?” “How many balls did it take to kill him?” “None.” My goodness, did you kill him with a knife?” hen—then, er “T talked him to death,” said the man in the chair significantly. -L Notes. He Couldn't Tell a Lie—Jnguiring Lady cow give a day? Truthful Boy—'Bout eight quarts, lady. Inquiring Lady—And how much of that do you sell? Truthful Boy—'Bout 12 quarts, lady.— London Saturday Journal. How much milk does your | Nothing New—“‘I sce some scientific sharp has discovered a substitute for bread,” “He needn't think he’s so much. years.” —Louiscille Courier-Journal. Our cook has been turning one out for Photographer—Where is that new otlice boy? irk room Worth Trying Assistant—He is up in the What is he doing up there “When I saw him a few minutes ago he was holding his | front of the enlarging machine.” —Youngstown Telegram | The Difficult Task—‘“ Why do they say that the first year of married life is usually the most difficult?" “T don’t know, unless it takes about that long for the groom to get to know all his wife's relations so that he doesn’t pass any of them on the Detroit Free Press. ay envelop street.” Busy While Awake—Purker the time. | Barker—Two-thirds? Parker—Yes; they sleep about 8 hours out of the 24.--S¢ | Dispatch. Naggs and his wife quarrel two-thirds of Louis Post- Pretty Familiar—Prof. Fudge— What do you mean, Mr. Jones. by speas ing of Dick Wagner, Ludie Beethoven. Charlie Gounod and Fred Handel? Jones—Well you told me to get familiar with the great composers. Masi cal America. Hard to Decide—Mrs. Veweom that my slightest. wish should be your law Mr. Newcom—Exactly, my love; but you have son | well-developed wishes that Tam as yet unable to decide the slightest. —Pittshurg Post. P 1 Before we were married you sud so many various and us to which is become of the man What's who throws knives and battle axes at his wife? The soubret-—He will be laid up for a couple of weeks. The acrobat—Meet with an accident? The soubret—No, his wife struck skillet Courier-Journal. | Reversing the Order—7ihe acrobat Louisville him with a comicbooks evi